Tonight Matthew I am going to be

[Justin Credible]

Oche Balboa




So anyway me and wet pete ( he got his name from the plastic underwear he wears) went out for a drink

We went for a pint, and I got confused when we got to the door of the pub as they had an entry for disabled people,
My ribena head would not fit in the door so had to hobble my oversized arse and club foot back to the main entrance, the bouncer was huge he stood at about 6 foot 8 built like a brick shithouse even though his head was half the size of mine.

People fancied me straight away cos I saw everyone staring at me, they obviously wanted me, wet pete said he was going for a lap dance as it was only 30pound in this shithole so I decided I would get one as well but they said i was so fat i would have to pay double cos of my weight.
I went to the toliet to use my calculator and found out that meant 60 pound, half the weight of my head. I hobbled back inside and asked for a lap dance, one of the girls look liked a muzzie and could not get a horn until I thought about Noisy cos his is a legend.

The muzzie girl who had smaller tits than me asked me was I ever involved in an accident in a chemical factory, did not know what she meant by that , she was obviously stupid.

Wet pete mam then came in and gave out to the bouncers, she had the same tattoo as the bouncer that was rude to me, so we had to go home.I still wish I had cocaine on her tits.

Next week me and wet pete are playing poker

[Noisycrowds]

hahahah