JOKES

[Jockenaria]

I was telling a girl in the pub about my uncanny ability to guess what day a woman was born on, just by feeling her fanny. "Really?" she said, "go on then...try" After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience. Come on" she demanded, "What day was I born?"
I said "Fuckin yesterday?"

[Jockenaria]

My mate went to get a tattoo of an indian on his back. Halfway through he said,"dont forget to put a big tomahawk in his hand." The tattooist said, "give us a chance mate, i've only just finished his turban."

[Justin Credible]

First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius. I think Nike should start telling their athletes "Don't Do It""

[Justin Credible]

oche is so fat and his head so big that when he walked in front of my tv during the darts premier league, I missed 3 matches

[M H]

My missus's so fat that when I fucked her last night I burnt my arse on the light bulb!

[Randall]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... kside.html

oh dear!

[Justin Credible]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... kside.html

oh dear!

This is a prime example why some people would never want to be famous, myself included, the press would have a field day and like joan I would apologize for fuckall

[Justin Credible]

A young Arab asks his father:
- What is this weird hat that we are wearing ?
It's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun !

- And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing ?
It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body !

- And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet ?
These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert !

Tell me, papa...
Yes, my son?
Why are we wearing all this crap now we are living in Leicester ?

[Noisycrowds]

hahahahahhahahhahahha

[Justin Credible]

christians keep on about how jesus fed the five thousand with five loaves and two fishes.

What about hitler?

He made six million jews toast!!!

[Noisycrowds]

hahahahahhahahha

[Justin Credible]

A young Irish boy is crying by the side of the road.
A man asks "What's wrong?"
Boy says "Me Ma is dead"
"Oh bejaysus" the man says "Do you want me to get Father O'Riley ?"
Wee boy replies "No thanks Mister, sex is the last thing on me mind right now"

[Noisycrowds]

haha class , u cant beat bad taste racial jokes

just like you hear down the pub , unless youre rout of course and its forbiden

[Justin Credible]

I have no problem laughing at the jews., blacks irish or whatever if its just a joke.

I guess Irish people in general dont mind people laughing at us as we have a sense of humour unlike others

[Noisycrowds]

most colours and religions get jokes

of course if u tell one about mohammed eating a sausage the mussies wont get it as there cunts

[Justin Credible]

Three dogs sitting in the Vets Surgery a Staffy, a Doberman and an Irish Wolfhound. Wolfy looks at the other two and see's they look glum, "Looks like you two are for the Big Needle them!".

Staffy says "Yeah, chewed the legs off a copper trying to pull my Boss, bad move on my part I reckon".


Doberman says, "Had a go at a kid, made a bit of a mess, and now I'm in one, Lifes a bitch."

They look at Wolfy, "What about you mate?"

Wolfy says, "Saw the Mrs Boss on her hands and knees looking for something under the dresser, Kilt up over her arse, no drawers on, both stars winking at me, well you can guess the rest".

"Needle then". says Staffy.

"Oh no!", says Wolfy nonchalantly, "I just gotta have my claws clipped!"

[Noisycrowds]

I had a upsetting phone call in work: my mother phoned me and said there were Muslims in our family tree. I went straight home and I'm glad I did - they looked so good hanging from there.

[Randall]

A young Arab asks his father:
- What is this weird hat that we are wearing ?
It's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun !

- And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing ?
It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body !

- And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet ?
These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert !

Tell me, papa...
Yes, my son?
Why are we wearing all this crap now we are living in Leicester ?

[Randall]

haha class , u cant beat bad taste racial jokes

just like you hear down the pub , unless youre rout of course and its forbiden

trusting people to behave like adults seems to work, rather than the big (little) brother approach.

[Randall]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/ar ... dcast.html