My Old Man
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:13 pm
Ok, this is totally self indulgent but this is what I've written and will be reading on Monday. This is my Dad and this is us and I already miss him terribly.
Danny Hamill was a good man who lived a good life.
Born in 1923, our Dad was raised in Northern Ireland. Growing up in a troubled community, Dad developed a fearlessness in adversity that would serve him well throughout his life. A keen scholar and talented footballer in his youth. On leaving school he found his employment opportunities limited so travelled to Southern Ireland, finding work in a top hotel in Dublin. It was at this time that Dad met Gaye, our Mum, at the Four Provinces Ballroom in Harcourt Street, Dublin & to quote Mum, “from that night onwards I couldn’t shake him off; from every night then on he was always by my side!” They married on 27th August 1952, almost 60 years ago and the rest as they say is history!
Whilst working in Dublin Dad became a shop steward, where during a spell of strike action he was approached to become a full time official for the hotel workers union. In this role Dad demonstrated his keen sense of social responsibility and even though Dad had a wife and young family, it was not uncommon for him to use his own wages to supplement the meager allowances for striking workers in those times. This element of his character was to be demonstrated on many further occasions throughout his life.
During this time in Dublin, Dad contracted Meningitis. Seriously ill, Mum feared she would be widowed with two young children but Dad had other ideas. Despite doctors warning Mum to prepare for the worst and Dad being given the Last Rites he pulled through, calling on the fighting qualities that would continue to serve him so very well in later life.
When Dad recovered Mum was worried by the strain of union life on him & his young family. Wishing to follow her brothers and sisters overseas, Mum pushed Dad to travel to England which he did. Seeking employment firstly in Manchester and then in London, Dad stayed firstly with Mum’s sister Breda & later with her brother Benny. In London Dad was joined by Mum, Clare & Derek and the family settled in Northolt. Two more children, Beverley & I soon followed.
By this time Dad was in settled employment in a supervisory position that he was to retain for 25 years, which enabled him to raise a mortgage on a house in Hayes. This was where the youngest of us all, Paul was born.
As a member of Botwell Parish Dad became a Knight of St Columba, taking an active role to further the organizations stated aims of Charity, Unity & Fraternity. In later life Dad became an active member of St Raphael’s Parish, taking responsibility for the administration and organization of charitable covenant contributions. Dad also took great pride in his role on the governing body of St Raphael’s Primary Catholic School, a position he approached with a great sense of responsibility. He gave so much without wanting anything in return as he did with his family and friends.
We knew him best as a family man. He was an utterly devoted husband to our mum. A strong, dutiful, tireless father and friend to us all. A purveyor of corny jokes and silly anecdotes to us and his grandchildren; and a very proud great grandfather.
We’d always look forward to him getting in from work as regardless of how tired he was after a very long day he’d play footie in the garden if the weather was good or play cards and board games indoors with us if it wasn’t. Even the dogs he loved, Cinders and Barney would hear his car near the house and wag their tails.
Mum and Dad danced throughout their married years whenever they could, just as they did when they first met. When he retired they had the time to dance as they pleased and they did. They danced till they physically couldn’t dance anymore and enjoyed every minute. We enjoyed being with them both whenever we were.
In later life Dad’s health entered a slow and painful decline that proved to be his greatest challenge. Seven years ago a thankfully inaccurate Doctor gave him no more than 24 hours to live, Dad’s response from behind his oxygen mask was to shake his head & a wag his finger. He knew he wasn’t ready to go, his driving force continuing to be his devotion to his beloved wife, our mum Gaye. In the following seven years of ‘extra time’ that followed there were many times when we thought ’he really can’t come through this one’ but he proved us wrong time and time again, always showing great courage, dignity and strength of character in the face of considerable adversity. All the while his motivation was our Mum, as despite his own declining health he still saw himself as her carer and cared for her as best as he possibly could. Fighting time after time to return to her side, winning every battle except the final one which he lost on penalties.
Even during the darkest moments Dad maintained his unfailing politeness and gratefulness to all around him for the help and support he received, demonstrating his strength of character & depth of moral decency that those closest to him found truly humbling. Despite his declining health his care for others continued to extend to his brother Jimmy and sister Kathleen, whom he supported and cared for in their declining years.
And now that he’s gone, what does our Dad leave us with? Our Dad leaves his family with a strong moral code to follow, a sense of common decency and a clear understanding of right from wrong. His strength of character, will, courage and fearlessness will live on through us. His capacity for kindness, gentle wisdom, patience and compassion will remain with us for the rest of our days. Dad leaves us with memories of family celebrations filled with joy and laughter, memories of rubbing his tough stubble on our soft faces as kids, memories of scrimping and saving all year to take us to the seaside for our summer holiday, or mystery tour as he always managed to get lost! Memories of corny jokes delivered with his trade mark wink, memories of a strong arm around our shoulder when we needed his support, strong, kind, fearless, gentle, always interested, always understanding, that is and was our dad, Danny Hamill.
He was a good man who lived a good life, a man we all miss and will always remember.
Danny Hamill was a good man who lived a good life.
Born in 1923, our Dad was raised in Northern Ireland. Growing up in a troubled community, Dad developed a fearlessness in adversity that would serve him well throughout his life. A keen scholar and talented footballer in his youth. On leaving school he found his employment opportunities limited so travelled to Southern Ireland, finding work in a top hotel in Dublin. It was at this time that Dad met Gaye, our Mum, at the Four Provinces Ballroom in Harcourt Street, Dublin & to quote Mum, “from that night onwards I couldn’t shake him off; from every night then on he was always by my side!” They married on 27th August 1952, almost 60 years ago and the rest as they say is history!
Whilst working in Dublin Dad became a shop steward, where during a spell of strike action he was approached to become a full time official for the hotel workers union. In this role Dad demonstrated his keen sense of social responsibility and even though Dad had a wife and young family, it was not uncommon for him to use his own wages to supplement the meager allowances for striking workers in those times. This element of his character was to be demonstrated on many further occasions throughout his life.
During this time in Dublin, Dad contracted Meningitis. Seriously ill, Mum feared she would be widowed with two young children but Dad had other ideas. Despite doctors warning Mum to prepare for the worst and Dad being given the Last Rites he pulled through, calling on the fighting qualities that would continue to serve him so very well in later life.
When Dad recovered Mum was worried by the strain of union life on him & his young family. Wishing to follow her brothers and sisters overseas, Mum pushed Dad to travel to England which he did. Seeking employment firstly in Manchester and then in London, Dad stayed firstly with Mum’s sister Breda & later with her brother Benny. In London Dad was joined by Mum, Clare & Derek and the family settled in Northolt. Two more children, Beverley & I soon followed.
By this time Dad was in settled employment in a supervisory position that he was to retain for 25 years, which enabled him to raise a mortgage on a house in Hayes. This was where the youngest of us all, Paul was born.
As a member of Botwell Parish Dad became a Knight of St Columba, taking an active role to further the organizations stated aims of Charity, Unity & Fraternity. In later life Dad became an active member of St Raphael’s Parish, taking responsibility for the administration and organization of charitable covenant contributions. Dad also took great pride in his role on the governing body of St Raphael’s Primary Catholic School, a position he approached with a great sense of responsibility. He gave so much without wanting anything in return as he did with his family and friends.
We knew him best as a family man. He was an utterly devoted husband to our mum. A strong, dutiful, tireless father and friend to us all. A purveyor of corny jokes and silly anecdotes to us and his grandchildren; and a very proud great grandfather.
We’d always look forward to him getting in from work as regardless of how tired he was after a very long day he’d play footie in the garden if the weather was good or play cards and board games indoors with us if it wasn’t. Even the dogs he loved, Cinders and Barney would hear his car near the house and wag their tails.
Mum and Dad danced throughout their married years whenever they could, just as they did when they first met. When he retired they had the time to dance as they pleased and they did. They danced till they physically couldn’t dance anymore and enjoyed every minute. We enjoyed being with them both whenever we were.
In later life Dad’s health entered a slow and painful decline that proved to be his greatest challenge. Seven years ago a thankfully inaccurate Doctor gave him no more than 24 hours to live, Dad’s response from behind his oxygen mask was to shake his head & a wag his finger. He knew he wasn’t ready to go, his driving force continuing to be his devotion to his beloved wife, our mum Gaye. In the following seven years of ‘extra time’ that followed there were many times when we thought ’he really can’t come through this one’ but he proved us wrong time and time again, always showing great courage, dignity and strength of character in the face of considerable adversity. All the while his motivation was our Mum, as despite his own declining health he still saw himself as her carer and cared for her as best as he possibly could. Fighting time after time to return to her side, winning every battle except the final one which he lost on penalties.
Even during the darkest moments Dad maintained his unfailing politeness and gratefulness to all around him for the help and support he received, demonstrating his strength of character & depth of moral decency that those closest to him found truly humbling. Despite his declining health his care for others continued to extend to his brother Jimmy and sister Kathleen, whom he supported and cared for in their declining years.
And now that he’s gone, what does our Dad leave us with? Our Dad leaves his family with a strong moral code to follow, a sense of common decency and a clear understanding of right from wrong. His strength of character, will, courage and fearlessness will live on through us. His capacity for kindness, gentle wisdom, patience and compassion will remain with us for the rest of our days. Dad leaves us with memories of family celebrations filled with joy and laughter, memories of rubbing his tough stubble on our soft faces as kids, memories of scrimping and saving all year to take us to the seaside for our summer holiday, or mystery tour as he always managed to get lost! Memories of corny jokes delivered with his trade mark wink, memories of a strong arm around our shoulder when we needed his support, strong, kind, fearless, gentle, always interested, always understanding, that is and was our dad, Danny Hamill.
He was a good man who lived a good life, a man we all miss and will always remember.
