JOKES

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micko
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Re: JOKES

Post by micko » Mon Dec 24, 2012 12:44 am

Justin Credible wrote:they are at it again :lol: :lol:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20824602

Now that's funny. :D
One year I got a bike for my birthday. So I went peddling off down the road and knocked an old lady down.
'Can't you ring your bell?' She said. 'I can ring my bell,' I said 'But I can't ride my bike'

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micko
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Re: JOKES

Post by micko » Sun Dec 30, 2012 1:46 am

From the great Tommy Cooper.

I went to the doctors. He said 'What appears to be the problem?'.
I said 'I keep having the same dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away'.
He said 'How can I help?'.
I said 'Break my arms!'

My wife had a go at me last night. She said 'You'll drive me to my grave'.
I had the car out in thirty seconds.

One year I got a bike for my birthday. So I went peddling off down the road and knocked an old lady down.
'Can't you ring your bell?' She said. 'I can ring my bell,' I said 'But I can't ride my bike' :lol: :lol: :lol:

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms"
One year I got a bike for my birthday. So I went peddling off down the road and knocked an old lady down.
'Can't you ring your bell?' She said. 'I can ring my bell,' I said 'But I can't ride my bike'

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Randall
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Re: JOKES

Post by Randall » Thu Jan 03, 2013 10:39 am

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Justin Credible
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Re: JOKES

Post by Justin Credible » Thu Jan 03, 2013 11:08 am

only serves to show that all these groups, blacks, homosexuals, etc all want to be treated as equal but none of the fuckers can take a joke, same with the royal family, miserable cunts
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DrZoidberg
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Re: JOKES

Post by DrZoidberg » Thu Jan 03, 2013 9:21 pm

what was the joke?

the guy is extremely unfunny. maybe he can redeem himself.

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micko
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Re: JOKES

Post by micko » Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:03 pm

Seen some of that Sunday evening and neither Whitehall or Corden were in any way funny, just drunk.
One year I got a bike for my birthday. So I went peddling off down the road and knocked an old lady down.
'Can't you ring your bell?' She said. 'I can ring my bell,' I said 'But I can't ride my bike'

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micko
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Re: JOKES

Post by micko » Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:04 pm

Image
One year I got a bike for my birthday. So I went peddling off down the road and knocked an old lady down.
'Can't you ring your bell?' She said. 'I can ring my bell,' I said 'But I can't ride my bike'

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welsh
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Re: JOKES

Post by welsh » Sun Jan 06, 2013 6:08 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Jockenaria
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Re: JOKES

Post by Jockenaria » Sun Jan 13, 2013 8:08 pm

I saw my dwarf neighbour standing at the bus stop today, so I stopped and said "jump in, ill take you home". "Piss off ya prick!" he replied. I said "Fine, suit yourself". So I zipped up my backpack and kept on walking.
I was alive when Rangers died

Justin Credible
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Re: JOKES

Post by Justin Credible » Sun Jan 13, 2013 8:11 pm

the bdo world final
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Randall
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Re: JOKES

Post by Randall » Sun Jan 13, 2013 8:35 pm

Justin Credible wrote:the bdo world final
i just knew :lol:
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Jockenaria
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Re: JOKES

Post by Jockenaria » Tue Jan 15, 2013 9:55 pm

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow.

"Ooh" said the presenter,"This is a very rare set,produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century,do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition

"Sticks? Paddy replied.
I was alive when Rangers died

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M H
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Re: JOKES

Post by M H » Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:32 pm

What do you call an Irish lesbian?

A Gay Lick!
When you actually feel anger over a place like this it's time to get a life

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micko
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Re: JOKES

Post by micko » Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:47 pm

^^^^ Pair of bastids. :lol: :lol:


was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg"
One year I got a bike for my birthday. So I went peddling off down the road and knocked an old lady down.
'Can't you ring your bell?' She said. 'I can ring my bell,' I said 'But I can't ride my bike'

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Jockenaria
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Re: JOKES

Post by Jockenaria » Wed Jan 16, 2013 6:36 pm

Tesco burgers, low in fat but high in Shergar!
I was alive when Rangers died

Justin Credible
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Re: JOKES

Post by Justin Credible » Wed Jan 16, 2013 8:07 pm

Jockenaria wrote:Tesco burgers, low in fat but high in Shergar!

had a look at the date on the tesco burgers in my fridge, and they are off ;)
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Re: JOKES

Post by Jockenaria » Fri Feb 01, 2013 7:45 pm

What a fanny!!

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Re: JOKES

Post by Jockenaria » Sat Feb 09, 2013 12:44 pm

Not the best name for an ice cream van
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M H
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Re: JOKES

Post by M H » Sat Feb 09, 2013 6:36 pm

Ha ha mate, very unfortunate especially with the warning
When you actually feel anger over a place like this it's time to get a life

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Re: JOKES

Post by Justin Credible » Mon Feb 11, 2013 7:54 pm

Finishing an interview, the NYPD recruitment seargent says, "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."

Then, sliding a pistol and a box of ammunition across the desk, he says, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six blacks, six meth dealers, six muslims and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?" Asks the wannabe cop.

"That's the attitude we want," says the Seargent. "When can you start?"
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