Lakeside Howlers Thread

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The Ginge Reaper
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Lakeside Howlers Thread

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Fri Jan 06, 2017 9:36 am

To be updated throughout the tournament. Not going to be watching much of it so all suggestions (how trivial) welcome.

May I suggest this thread is a Sticky.

Pre-Tournament

- BDO Board members and Bob Potter fuck the draw up on a live Internet stream to the extent Little Richard has to step in and ask for the whole thing to be redrawn
- The international rights for the events seemingly sold to no other country at all, so only the UK and Ireland able to view the coverage via the two host broadcasters.
- Ross Montgomery issuing a "chilling warning" via the Daily Star, despite the bookies making him the underdog. He later goes on to lose his first round match 3-1.
- Only a couple of days before the event, ticket sales still very poor. Monday evening only has 43% of available tickets sold, Tuesday evening 60%, and all the weekday afternoon session vary between 45-64% occupancy
- Channel 4 showing trailers for the event including Stephen Bunting (fucked off 3 years ago), Alan Norris (fucked off 2 years ago) and Ted Hankey (failed to qualify).
- Oh, and Channel 4 using the 4 (?) year old catchphrase of a dead fat racist in their promotional material on Twitter.
- Oh, and Channel 4 failing to provide free to air evening highlights for the first time in years.
- BDO Board leaking out "news" (and I use that term very loosely) on Boxing Day with the intention of trying to get players to stay when Q School comes around.
- The current BDO mens #1 spending the days before his big match obsessing about an Irish man writing things on a blog, rather than getting himself mentally ready for the big game.
- Bookies and major sports stars lining up on Twitter, Facebook and their own websites to take pot shots at the event, thus confirming its perception in the psyche of the general public. List of bookies taking the piss: Stan James, Bet365, Betfair, Coral, PaddyPower
- The continuing insistence that Lakeside is the "Home of World Darts" or the "Home of British Darts", depending on where you read.
- The BDO having to scratch around for a "journalist" to do their website write-ups for free, only finding one this week - a kid who writes a blog.
- No public breakdown of prize money split - because they dont want to admit its exactly the same as last year. And the year before that. And the year before that.
- Rumours that the 9 dart prize fund has been cut by over 80% (from £52k to £10k), despite nobody hitting it since God was a boy. Probably reduced because they know the board now has massive trebles and its much more likely to happen.
- The BBC website, one of the most popular news sites in the UK (if not THE most popular) totally blanks the start of the event, instead it has a PDC new article from 4 days ago as its main story and no mention at all of the event starting on the 7th.
- The last article on the BT Sport website with the tag "darts" dates back to the 30th September". So nothing about the event they are about to show whatsoever.
- Channel 4 claiming that Jamie Hughes had a trial with "Wolverhampton Wanders".
- The BDO Fanatics FB scrambling around for free streams for the BT Sport session, rather than paying for the darts they profess to love and be fanatical about.
- BDO website forgets to put their runaway mens #1 player on the montage picture on their own website.
- the "new" stage is just the same as the old one with some black paint and new light bulbs.
- The official BDO Twitter account not being verified.

Day One

- Rob Walker.
- One of Walker and Nicholsons opening gambits is about how the PDC event is better. Talk about talking your own product down.
- When Bobby George was asked if darts is a psychological game, he said it was also a mind game.
- Rob Walker suggesting the oche was filthy and needed the attention of a vacuum cleaner. Also making excuses for poor performances by saying everyone is "very nervous".
-Nick Kenny stealing Freed from Desire from the recent PDC event
- Channel 4 inserting a break between the fucking walk ons and the first leg
- First throw of the event featured 2 of the 3 darts straying into the 5 segment
- The huge unmissable bull on the Blade 5 coming into use in the first fucking leg.
- the hot favourite is broken in the first set and loses it.
- When needing 141 for a perfect 9 dart leg, Durrant scores the almighty score of 48, ensuring he can't even get a 10 dart leg when he returns.
- Little Richard calls the above as a 48 when it was actually a 46.
- Nick Kenny with 72 left and three darts in his hand doesn't even get a dart at a double as he missed two big numbers.
- Less than 3,500 people worldwide watching the number 1 in the whole WDF system in his first round game on the free YouTube stream, at some points not even 2,000 watching it.
- "Kenny likes double eighteen" says Vassos immediately after Kenny missed said double.
- Comms mistaking masks of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in the crowd for the Beckhams.
- C4 cameras picking up someone in the crowd who had specially blacked up for the occasion.
- Very shaky camerawork when switching to 19's. Add to this shaky camerawork on the balcony.
- People in the crowd chanting whilst Durrant was throwing for the match. This after years of people saying this never, ever happens at Lakeside.
- Duzza spending most of the post match interview monging it up about averages, averages, averages.
- Channel 4 interviewing players in the bar, so no progress there at all. C4 realising part way through the interview they were showing people getting ratarsed, and changing the camera angle, will not save them this time I'm afraid.
- Trina Gulliver bullshitting her way through an interview, claiming the women's game has always been quality and that broadcasters see the value in it.
- Trina walking out to "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate.
- Women's defending champion starting her defence of her title with a 30, followed by a 44, followed by a 59.
- Brookin misses six darts to win the first leg before Gulliver finally wins it on her own throw in 29 darts. Brookin wins her first leg with a hold in 26 darts...
- Gulliver almost missing the board going for D10.
- Brookin with 25 left busts it. Twice. Finally wins the leg after Gulliver busts 78 by hitting a T20.
- Trina needing 6 darts to clean up 40.
- Commentators giving a plethora ot excuses for the poor performances in the Gulliver/Brookin match. Stage is too hot, Brookin is pregnant etc.
- Deta Hedman saying "Fuck" during live commentary.
- Brookin scores D20 in a scoring throw.
- She then needs 14 darts to clear 25, busting it three times.
- Vassos claiming that Trina is "playing herself into form" at the end of an utterly awful match.
- Paul Nicholson claiming not to be surprised at the number of darts the 10 times champion was missing at double.
- Martin Adams having a proper coughing fit during a live interview.
- Denis Nillson stealing the walk on music of Mensur Sujovic.
- the most interesting thing that John Rawling can conjure up about Ryan Joyce that he was the running up in the Denmark Open. Quickly followed by Paul Nicholson blowing smoke up Joyce's arse by saying he has a chance of winning the title.
- Rawling claiming that the winner of the Joyce preliminary match will play Adams in the "second round". He repeated this again at the end of the match.
- Rawling and Nicholson waxing lyrical about the PDC world championship final in 2007.
- Rawling claiming Nillson needed tops when he had 32 left.
- Nicholson and Rawling labouring the point to death that Joyce is from the north east.
- Paul Nicholson claiming thousands are in attendance. The capacity of Lakeside is about 1350.
- Crowd monging it up singing along to Daydream Believer and Mamma Mia whilst C4 are trying to do some analysis, which consists of Walker claiming the atmosphere was "electric" during a routine straight sets win.
- Ryan Joyce extolling the virtues of alcohol during his post match interview.
- Walker constantly sticking his mic in Nicholson's face....this is despite Nicholson having a mic of his own.
- Fitton groping his own tits waiting for walk on
- Darryl Fitton still persisting with that fucking walk on. This is after the C4 team have been bigging it up most of the afternoon like it was seeing something special akin to Halley's Comet.
- Finally pronouncing Wouter Vaes name correctly after 3.5 hours on the air.
- Vassos's mic failing during a live commentary, leaving Rawling on his own.
- Vaes averaging 73 in losing the first set, with three missed darts to win a leg and only one score over 100.
- whilst Fitton is averaging mid 80's, Rawling proclaims you won't be able to get him as high as 33/1 at the bookies now. A quick look online sees Stan James offering 40/1 and PaddyPower 50/1.
- Vassos going on about the Lakeside stage etc etc etc...
- With Fitton on 92, he hits 50 and Rawling suggests he has D16 left
- Vaes missing 6 darts at D17, none of them inside the double and one of them almost hitting the tyre.
- Session finishes at 4.40pm after 2 x 3-0, a 3-1 and a 2-0, giving the crowd well over 2 hours to do fuck all except put money in Potters tills.
- Fitton mongs whilst C4 are trying to interview him, talking up his 85 average as a world beating performance.
- Scott Mitchell and Spineless wearing their playing shirts despite neither of them being on until tomorrow.
- a bizarre mention of Brian "Pecker" Woods during the opening match of the evening session
- Awful spotting during the Smith match: when left on 63, they focused on 13, but Jeff likes D18, so his first dart went for a T9.
- Smith busting a 70co by hitting 10 and then T20.
- Yet more mic problems during the McGrath match
- Fans booing non stop during the appalling jansen/McGrath match.
- 26 darters enough to break for Janssen.
- Janssen starts the leg with a 180....and follows it with scores of 21, 30, 30, 60 and 40. First 3 darts = 180, the combined total for next 15 darts = 181
- BT Sport putting ads on just before a deciding set. Even Sky don't pull a stunt like that.
- Jannsen/McGrath going to a decider. Kill me now!!!! 17 legs taking 65 minutes to play.
- In the final leg of the Jannsen/McGrath match, Jannsen is left on 128. "Who's to say Janssen won't have a big visit and leave himself on a nice finish", cries Nicholson. Janssen scores 26.
- Mongs rocking out to the Proclaimers and Neil Diamond whilst BT Sport try and do some analysis.
- Around 3k people watching the darts worldwide, prime time in Europe...
- The BDO on Twitter virtually admitting the McGrath match was shite by saying a rendition of Sweet Caroline had livened everyone up.
- Gulliver still wearing her playing shirt, hours after actually playing.
- One of the women drops her darts during the walk-on
- Brooks with 70 left throws for treble 10 and hits single 15, and then 15 again to leave tops, but throws for double 10 instead of double 20. Camera goes to double 20, we see no 3rd dart but hear it hit the board. Comms, "where did it go", Camera pans out; Brooks collecting the dart from single 10 (after missing D10) walks away counting on her fingers and realizing she only had 50 scored.
- Barely any cunt in the Lakeside crowd watching the ladies darts.
- O'Shea seen downing a beer in the bar minutes before he's due on stage
- an awful skit involving O'Shea being a drummer.
- Paul Nicholson declaring that "the thing with the Welsh is that they are very very Welsh" He also declared that "O'shea won it would be a national holiday in Stockport", the problem being that Stockport isn't a country.
- Jim Williams winning 2-0 in legs despite averaging 66 and change.
- Williams scores 3 during a normal scoring visit.
- Williams winning a set 3-0 with a break of throw and a 68 average.
- BT Sport putting the averages up during the O'Shea holocaust match, realised they were both averaging 75 and below, so quickly got rid of it.
- Williams misses 11 darts at double 10 alone in one leg as O'Shea holds his throw with a 30 dart leg and celebrates like he has won the lottery.
- Play is halted because of a mobile phone going off!
- Williams able to win the first two sets averaging 75.06
- BT Sport keep cutting to the, erm, mighty Will Mellor and his missus in the crowd, instead of showing actual darts.
- Yet another 3-0 loss in the first round for O'Shea, averaging less than 77 and winning only two legs.
- Toplad chuckling like fuck during his post match interview, blaming the "pressure of the stage". Again.
- Jim Williams being told his next match is tomorrow. It isn't.
- The woefully poor graphics on the BDO website. Looks like they are using MS Paint and resulting in some out of proportion head shots.

Day Two

- Channel 4 taking time out to show, ahem, "highlights" from the thoroughly turgid evening session from the night before.
- An embarrassing Go Fund me page set up to raise an extra £500 for the Lakeside winner...who already gets ten grand.
- Rob Walker waxing lyrical at the megastars who have played at Lakeside: Tarbuck, Forsyth, Warren Mitchell…
- Today's coverage starts with images of several players necking pints
- Rob Walker claiming that Lisa Ashton won “12 majors” last year”
- O'shea claiming he played well in the first two sets in of his match, sounding pissed at 1pm in the afternoon.
- The number #5 seed admitting he has not even done any practice for half of the year.
- Crowd dancing along to Agadoo, Macarena and the YMCA whilst C4 and BT do pieces to camera
- The commentators praising Joyce for never losing on the Lakeshite stage when he has only played one match on it.
- Rawling promising that the atmosphere will get more mongy as the day unfolds during the first match of the day. He also bigs up the IoM Open…
- Joyce on 60, Vassos: "Ryan Joyce has looked nerveless on his doubles so far." Single 20, then puts the Double shot possibly underneath the single dart, then misses D10 by an inch
- Crowd oooooooooo'ing in prospect of a 180 after Adams hit two treble 20's, despite him being on 165.
- Yet more adverts before deciding sets
- Adams going 14 darts without hitting a treble, including scoring 117 in three visits at the start of a leg
- Rawling: 'The door is ajar Adams will put the Joyce throw under pressure.' Adams scores 41.
- Technical problems with the T20 camera and the sound. Again.
- The obvious bias towards Adams during the entire Adams/Joyce match. Tony Greenesque.
- C4 interviewer asking Paul Hogan to give his opponents some tips. How does “lose” sound?
- Vassos asking Mace about his epic QF match with Adams, without having an actual clue when it was.
- Tom Sawyer having the worst nickname known to man “Today’s”. Where do you even put that in his name, at the start or the middle?
- Hogan proclaimed as the “Malta Open quarter finalist”.
- A discussion about golf and Vijay Sing during the Hogan match for some unknown reason.
- Sawyer averaging less than 70 through two sets.
- Mason calling Tom “Paul”, as well as making every excuse under the sun for the poor standard. “Shoulder injury” etc….
- Rawling proclaiming that “Lisa Ashton vs Deta Hedman is a great sport rivalry”
- At 2-2 in legs in the womens game of the afternoon, Rawlings says he thought the game would be much closer than it actually was.
- A discussion about youth international ladies darts
- Ashtons daughter screeching in the crowd just like that woman did at Highbury for fucking years.
- Ashton posting a higher average in victory than plenty of the men did in theirs, 11 of the 16 men up to that point posting a lower average.
- Nicholson blowing smoke up Mitchells arse after slagging off his invisible dog routine on Twitter.
- Comms bigging up Mitchell’s GSOD performances, without mentioning he never got out the group.
- Fat mong in a green suit getting a bollocking and told to behave
- Comms stating that Mitchell is up there with O'Shea as the most popular player in the game” and Vassos stating that Mitchell is “big on the South coast”
- McGrath scoring 22 in consecutive legs
- Mitchell 2-0 up in sets and threw more than 15 darts in all but one of his winnings legs.
- McGrath hitting S18 whilst aiming at the 20 bed.
- Comms proudly stating the Lakeshite prize money will just about cover McGraths travel costs. So no profit to be had.
- Rawling saying mitchell throwing for the set at 1-0 up in legs
- In the post match interview, Scott Mitchell claiming he and his opponent were "buying each other beer all day" and will be "buying more later"
- Channel 4 presenter Rob Walker needing to issue alcohol warnings on Twitter to the fancy dress mongs.
- Ratajski given 93 points for a score which was actually 83
- Matt Smith claiming that Hughes/Atkins could be a fire cracker. As it happened it was a standard 3-1 victory for Hughes which finished at nearly midnight
- Rawling calling the Ratajski prelim match "a first round match"
- Matt Smith proudly stating that they were dancing along to Its Raining Men during the break
- “Olive Oil” taking about five minutes to throw a dart at a double and then nearly throwing it out of the board.
- Olive not being able to count for shit
- John Rawling saying that Olive “hasn’t done herself justice tonight”, like she normally plays 10 times better
- Matt Smith getting the draw wrong
- Mongs in the crowd dressed as Power Rangers and Honey G. I thought Lakeside didn’t do fancy dress?
- Girl from BT Sport trying to interview a clearly worse for wear Brian Dawson whilst some Yawkshire mong bounds about in the background shouting "YAWKSHIRE! YAWKSHIRE!"
- The ridiculously slow pace of the Smith/van Baelen game.
- Jackie the Spastic from Belgium, playing up for the cameras at numerous occasions during the Van Baelen game.
- Bull Bull D16 by DvB. Unfortunately the camera cuts away to show Jackie the Belgian and we miss the double landing
- One 180 in the entire first 4 sets and then only 2 in the entire match between Smith and Van Baelen, the eventual winner not getting one at all.
- Nicholson deciding in the 17th leg that the turgid Smith/Van Baelen match, between two slow as fuck players, is "turning into a scrap."
- Smith/Van Baelen going all the way, sending the crowd to sleep
- Nicholson naming all the famous Aussies who have graced the Lakeside stage - whilst forgetting the only one to have actually won the cunt.
- The guys dressed as Power Rangers desperately trying to act up for the cameras during the Van Baelen game
- Van Baelen throwing away a 2-0 lead in the deciding set, and six match darts, to lose a Prelim match that took 90 minutes.
- BT Sport persisting with more adverts at 10.55pm when there is still one full match to play and the crowd have been there since noon that day
- Atkins with the look of an extra from Trainspotting. Tanked up to fuck. Also sponsored by some scummy pub in Tenerife.
- Atkins so pissed he loses the ability to count properly
- Paul Nicholson turning into Fatz by constantly bringing in the regions both players are from. “Yorkshire 1 , Black Country 1” he proclaimed at one point
- The return of the “First Nine Darts” stat during the Atkins game to mask the proper averages
- Nicholson commenting on the beautiful throwing action of Atkins...as he bangs in a couple of treble 1s.
- The guy who does the DfW seemingly giving up on updating the live scoring page after the second set
- The day finishing just before midnight at 11.58. Only a short 11-12 hour day for the crowd and the officials then. Five hours to play four matches, one of which was a 2-0 womens match.
- The event, which is called "unpredictable" by its supporters, currently has a first round set score of 18-4 to the six seeds who have played their First Round matches

Day Three

- Only scheduling three games in the afternoon, two of which are prelims.
- The total lack of any sunstantial mainstream media coverage for the event. Lead article on darts on BBC website is still MvG winning, not a single one on the site, and nothing substantial in the national print media. Some papers posting some results but not all (why?)
- The new "saviours" of the BDO, Sportotal, spending time on Twitter comparing averages from different rounds of both WC's, instead of spending time compiling their accounts which are now officially marked as overdue, meaning a fine to be paid to Companies House.
- Two Prelim jobbers winning the first 2 legs of their match in 14 and 12 darts respectively, both better than Scotty Dog Mitchell managed in his entire match yesterday.
- Hendriks with a scoring visit of 13 (5,5,T1)
- As the averages tumble below 90 after a promising start in the Hendriks match, C4 decide to show multiple close-ups of Anthony Dundas (ref)'s well wacky proper darts shoess. Rawling implies that Jim Proudfoot wouldn't criticse them to his face because he'd get himself killed by the thug.
- Rawling with intimate knowledge of David Cameron's whole darting career as he suggests he is "a better player than his record would suggest".
- "The upset is on" says Rawling as Cameron goes 2-1 up. Cameron is ranked 32 in the main table compared to Hendriks' 25 and neither play in the same events as each other on the tour, ever.
- Proudfoot filling time by making the same awful joke twice in 5 minutes about David Cameron having the same name as the ex-British PM and he should be good around the number 10 etc...
- Start of a leg, Hendriks score 60, 60, then puts the third dart up near Double 5.
- Hendriks on a high two-darter. Proudfoot: "Might go bull here, might go for treble 17". He duly slings it into single 7.
- Nicholson asked by Rob Walker if he thinks Cameron could beat Noppert in Round 1. Nicho refers to Kylie Edmonds beating Noppie at the Masters to suggest he can, because 'you get the feeling that the Canadians are winning against the Dutch at the moment'. Sigh
- Rob Walker makes reference to Cameron probably having "an orange juice or two" following that match.
- Dean Reynolds being a PDC Youth Tour participant mentioned on the coverage. Not hiding it at all....
- Interview with Scott Waites, talking about how much hes enjoying his darts and enjoyed the last year as champion. Strange, when he was talking about how hes losing interest and struggling to get motivated for the darts any more a month ago....
- Rob Walker physically incapable of saying the name "Dennis Harbour" without adding the word "master" onto the end of it.
- Dennis Harbour stealing Barney's walk on music
- Exciting reference to Dennis Harbour beating Wadey on the Lakeshite stage. Excitement undone by the clarification that Wade missed 10 darts for the match and was a child.
- Rawling claiming Wade lost to Harbour in 2005, when it was in fact 2003.
- People dressed as Teletubbies (Dipsy and Po) sat on the front row. In a country club on a working Monday afternoon in January at an event where nobody apparently does fancy dress.
- Man in the audience planting a big wet kiss on the camera lens
- Chris Mason spending the afternoon on Twitter having a segment size debate with Wayne Mardle, before then declaring that the best player at the event he is commentating on is fucking off to the PDC in 7 days time
- Caldwell letting out a good 'ol yawn whilst Harbour was throwing
- Harbour has 186 left with one dart in hand, throws it at the 20 bed and hits the single.
- Harbour letting the match go to the 4th set by having a total holocaust in the deciding leg of the 3rd set. Goes from D16 to D12 to D6 to D3, hits single 3, and then hits S20 when going for D1.
- Caldwell's counting and strange checkout choices. Best instance: with 114 left, he hits 57 to leave 57, then oddly enough he goes for single 7. Presumably was going for S19 but why? Shanghai on 19's in the deciding leg of a set he has to win to stay in? Tit.
- Harbour wins a turgid match averaging 81.99 without winning a single leg in five visits.
- Rob Walker describing Harbour's 81.99 average as "his best darts".
- Prelim weighted average is 0.16 lower than last years, so the huge trebles and bull on the Blade 5 not assisting the players whatsoever.
- Nicholson and Harbour struggling to understand what the other cunt is saying.
- Rob Walker: "Dean Reynolds is an immensely popular player".
- Pip Blackwell. Just for his name. Who calls their kid "Pip, ffs!!!!
- Musical "treats" for the crowd today: Chubby Checker [more to be added at some point later no doubt]
- Pip Blackwell walking out to the theme tune from Minder.
- Five missed doubles in the first leg of Reynolds/Blackwell, Reynolds finally holding his throw with a 21 darter.
- Pip Blackwell starts his first leg on throw off with a 41, followed by a 22, followed by a 15, followed by a 45!!!! he then suddenly hits a 180.
- Reynolds not going for a 15 to leave 170 and fucks his dart off the other two that were blocking the treble 20 bed to leave himself on a bogey.
- Channel 4 put up an English flag next to Reynolds name, before quickly changing it to a Welsh one.
- In the deciding leg of the 2nd set and with the throw, Blackwell goes 5 throws getting only one treble, which included scoring visits of 28 and 42. Reynolds somehow breaks despite scoring visits of 32, 43 and 44 in the leg himself to go 2-0 up in sets
- Both Reynolds and Blackwell winning a leg in less darts than Scott Mitchell managed to do it in yesterday
- Danny Crates interviewing the Reynolds family in the middle of a crowd bawling Winter fucking Wonderland. Reynolds brother with a voice like Julian Clary
- Reynolds leaves himself D18 to go one leg from victory. Hits single 4 then double 7.
- Reynolds needs D20 to win the match 3-0. 2 darts nearly hit the number ring third dart nearly goes in treble 20. Blackwell steals the set.
-Consecutive scores of 26, 45 and 46 from Reynolds when throwing for the match at 2-0 in the deciding set. Loses the leg as a result, as well as throwing a match dart an inch away from the target, and set goes back on throw.
- Someone shouting out whilst Reynolds gets his one match dart so far.
- 41, 30 and 46 in a row from Pip whilst throwing for the match
- Pip nearer T18 than D4
- Ten visits (29 darter) needed to win the Blackwell/Reynolds match
- Session of only 3 matches finishes barely 30 seconds before the allocated 4 hours of TV time.
- BDO posting a picture of a pathetic tree structure to their Twitter page which just contains bits of paper that say “DEANO” on it. Pathetic.
- Only 1700 people worldwide watched the afternoons session according to YouTube.
- Glen Durrant (the #1) still with no idea when his next match is according to his Twitter, sounding pissed off about it. He later backtracks saying he isn’t pissed off, someone has clearly had a word with him.
- Channel 4 calling the Reynolds/Blackwell game a “cracker” on Twitter
- The two Teletubbies from earlier have now gained an extra one
- First leg of the evening sees the extraordinary claim that Bobby George is an ex world champion
- Venue less than half full
- Comms saying that Hogan is averaging 94, when he was barely over the 90 mark.
- Phillips on 180, hits two treble 20s and the third dart just deflects under the T20 bed, barely avoiding a bust score.
- Scores of 31 and 34 from Phillips to open a leg. A leg he only scores one treble in (T5 doesn't count).
- Phillips losing the first two sets 6-1 averaging 78 and change
- Brian 'Doggy' Dawson in the crowd when he has a game to play later.
- Nicholson yet again bigging up Harbours win over James Wade 15 years ago like it actually has any relevance.
- Phillips kicks off a leg with 82,41 and 32. Hogan responds with 44,41 and 60
- Spotters clearly audible on the broadcast.
- Mario and Luigi join the Teletubbies at the front of the hall.
- Hogan and Phillips both winning at least one leg in less darts than Mitchell did yesterday.
- Using bottles of water on stage rather than glasses.
- 31, 58 and 45 in three consecutive scoring visits from Phillips.
- Paul Hogan games full of references to the fabled Basingstoke Canal because "it runs right past the Lakeshite"
- Hogan takes the full 5 sets to squeak past Phillips in a game he was 2-0 up in sets and should have won in less than 30 minutes.
- Hogan admitting he was happy averaging 91 when he knows the same again will result him in being battered against Durrant.
- Mason saying that an 100 average is the expectancy.
- Anca Zijlstra announced as the “former Hungarian Open Champion”. Dear lord!
- First eight throws of the Winstanley/Zijlstra match: 24, 30, 60, 60, 81, 21, 43, 45.
- Talk of Winstanley being a former "England youth international" despite her now being a fully grown woman and it having no relevance at all.
- One score of 101+ in the first set of Winstanley match.
- Vassos going wildly off script by sharing that Zijlstra has a first-9 average of FORTY-NINE.
- After scoring 440 in 12 darts, Winstanley needs another 8 to clear up the remaining 61. Moment before this the comms had declared Winstanley had “finished legs really well today”
- Anca’s final leg in the match: 42, 60, 90, 45, 64, 25, 40, 45, 57. All of them scoring visits.
- Anca loses in 6 straight legs averaging 63.54, opponent only averaging 74.
- Ref calling her “Hankey” by mistake.
- Chris Mason and Matt Smith pretending to be impressed with a 75 average
- An awkward interview segment where the Asian interviewer said 'I'm sure she's looking down on you' when talking about that mentor of his that died.
- Raymond Smith, Oz jobber, when asked by the interviewer how yesterday's victory had been received Down Under replied "It's massive...89 messages on my phone and 114 notifications on Facebook"
- "It was only a best of 9" is suddenly Mason's line on the De Vos mega average. Wasn't being quite so basically thoughtful during his abusive Twitter meltdown earlier in the day
- Raymond Smith’s walk on, including horrific dancing
- Comms on Raymond Smith: "Today he is showing he can play".....meaning yesterday he showed he couldn't
- "Last Belgian Standing" trotted out by both commentators 84 times before the end of the second set
- De Vos and Smith both finishing legs in less darts than Mitchell managed in his entire match yesterday.
- Nicholson saying de Vos is just like Clive Owen in Dads Army
- Yet more mentions of Paul Lim, despite no public admittance yet that the 9 dart fund has been cut by over 80% (see the Pre-Tournament list)
- Random mention of Steve Coote by Nicholson
- Ross Smith with 81 left, hits single 19 to leave 62, then goes for treble 10 and misses it. Loses the leg after having no outshot on a double or even bull.
- The Fat Farmer hauls himself up to bend the balcony and try to "outshirt" Mason.
- When De Vos is asked how he thinks he will do against Mitchell, De Vos looks like a child that shit their pants and says he always loses second round and glanced to the ground in a defeatist look.
- Betfred, who put the 9 dart money up, Tweet a picture of a Unicorn dartboard rather than a Winmau one
- Doggy Dawson doing a Merv King impersonation and spewing on about his A-game and how if he brings it goes on to name all those he will beat along the way. He goes on to lose.
- The Teletubbies monging out to Doggy's walk on. Matt Smith suggesting Dawson is a bit of a fattie by saying he has “significant hips”
- Doggy Dawson scores 2 consecutive 180s in a leg then 8 darts to clear the remaining 44
- “Yawkshire Grit” mention by Nicholson
- Paul Nicholson: "It doesn't matter how hard you throw the dart, it goes up to come down”
- Daily Star publish an article to their website taking the piss out of Jim Williams, saying it gives hope to every pub team.
- Occasional BDO commentator John Gwynne mocking the name of the event on Twitter.

Day Four

- Prostate Cancer UK being pushy cunts at Lakeside to the extent a fracas occurs and they take their leave.
- Awful reviews of Lakeside this week already appearing on Trip Advisor
- BBC darts page finally mentions the tournament today - four days in.
- Before the first game, Channel 4 interviewed a fat man dressed as Elvis and he had a go at signing a Elvis song at the end
- One of the great young hopes of the BDO broken in the first fucking leg by some Canadian cunt.
- Cameron follows up the break by throwing scores of 41 and 22 in the very next leg
- Noppert misses NINE doubles for the second leg and loses it, despite being about 200 points ahead
- Cameron throws consecutive scores of 26 in the third leg of the first set, followed by a 59.
- Technical gremlins on the broadcast,picture frozen at 12.39 but commentary still going, and the stream on the C4 website not working.
- Cameron scores 3 x D1 for a total scoring visit of NINE in the deciding leg pof the first set.
- Both Cameron and Noppert winning at least one leg in 3 less darts than Scott Mitchell managed in a whole game on Sunday.
- Nicholson talking about the magnitude of the Scottish and German Opens
- Noppert drops a set to some cunt from Canada who isnt Jeff Smith
- Shot of a massive 20-pinter jug of piss on the table with a pack of mongs gurning around it
- Commentators somehow manage to go through an entire match without a single reference to county darts.
- Paul Nicholson: "Montgomery is the most underrated player in darts"
- Warty jumps on the Martin Adams cancer bandwagon by having PROSTATE CANCER UK" emblazoned on his shirt
- McLoyalty broken in the very first game of the match.
- McLoyalty's second leg starts off with with 60, 37, 50.
- Veenstra wins a leg in three less darts than Scott Mitchell managed the other day.
- "Ross you require 7". First dart smacked in the 19 and score is bust.
- Chris Mason mentioning the Scottish Open at least four times during the opening two set of the Monty match.
- Veenstra misses 3 darts at D10 for the 2nd set and a 2-0 lead, including one that missed by a country mile.
- Nicholson bigging up the WDF Europe Cup Singles as "a huge title that Veenstra will carry with him for the rest of his life"
- McLoyalty winning a leg in 2 less darts than Scott Mitchell managed in an entire match the other day.
- McLoyalty broken at the start of both of his sets he had the throw in first.
- First 9 dart average getting an airing.
- Martin Adams in the crows cackling like a loon, not watching the darts.
- Warty misses three darts at D18 and D9 to send the match into a decider after Veenstra had fucked up checking out 42.
- McLoyalty giggling on stage after his traditional early exit. 15 matches at Lakeside and only once has he averaged over 90.
- Deta Hedman winning a leg in 2 less darts than Scott Mitchell managed all match the other day
- Deta with a scoring visit of 11.
- Deta with a ton of missed doubles to win the match whilst 1-0 up in sets and 2-0 up in legs
- Hedman loses six legs on the spin to lose the match 2-1 after having a shedload of match darts in the third leg of the second set.
- Casey Gallagher sounding like a chav.
- Two mongs in fancy dress getting engaged in the car park, followed by inane interview with them both where he sounded like he was already regretting it.
- Yet another bookie Tweeting a picture of a Unicorn dart board in relation to the event.
- A scorching 1st set between Harms and Ratajski. Ratajski won it.Darts: 11, 20, 21, 20, 19. Averages: Harms 79, Ratajski 82.
- Harms busting 120 with two T20s.
- The silence after Rawlings mentioned the PDC premier league night in Holland.
- Ratajski winning is proclaimed as “A piece of Polish sporting history”
- Multiple puns based on Harms name. “Out of Harms way”.
- Wesley Harms, the 9th seed, being thrashed by a 84 averaged in straight sets.
- Ratajski winning in straight sets having scored only 1 180 and 4 scores of 140+. Rob Walker called this a “magnificent victory”
- Ross Montgomery won 6 legs and his highest finish out of the lot? 40.
- BDO Fanatics Facebook page taking their own 180 cards.
- Both McGeeney and Hurrell win a leg in the first set in less darts than Scott Mitchell managed in his entire match the other day.
- Commentators talking about how good Jim Williams is at joinery. And now talking about Waites work as a carpenter.
- Channel 4 openly talking about players getting pissed on their website
- John Rawling banging on about doing the timewarp (again). Other musical treats on Day 4 included Mouldy Old Dough.
- Shout out to 'The Channel Islands Open'
- Matching 44's to start a leg in the Hurrell/McGeeney game
- Hurrell letting out a high pitched scream.
- Hurrells final scores in the match: 55, 60, 45, 47, 48. All but the last one effectively scoring visits
- Mason giving us tales of when he spent time at holiday camps with Anastasia when she was just 15
- The BDO needing a fucking official to turn the board, as the ref couldn't do it
- Rhian Edwards being sponsored by Aldi
- Mason comparing Gulliver to Taylor.
- Lithuanian player being proudly announced as the “four times Lithuanian Open champion”. Well I never.
- 23 darter to start Conan vs Darius, which Darius eventually won.
- Nicholson just called the England Open the "Glen Durrant Open". An event Durrant has only won once.
- Darius on 116 goes T7 T7 T11
- Nicholson impressed with the first set performance of Darius. He averaged 81….
- Paul Nicholson: “When you come from a place like Lithuania you have to be ice cool”.
- He also bigs up Madars Razma, calling him a great player. He failed to qualify
- Stereotyping from Mason about Ana's killer mentality being because she's Russian?!
- Commentators still astounded that Labanauskas has yellow, green and red stems to match the Lithuanian flag.
- A chorus of 'THERE IS ONLY ONE CONAN WHITEHEAD' from the mongs
- More chavtastic excruciation as CONAN's partner gets interviewed down in the mong pit. Look of thunderous disgust on the interviewer's face as the whole ghastly thing unfolds. Interview ends with partner saying she's sweating and her hairdo's gone all to fuck. Interviewer says she still looks lovely though but with as much sincerity as KONG's vegetarian phase.
- FIVE consecutive 17-darters in th Whitehead/Darius game
- DfW for some reason not registering scores over 100 in the “Ton+” field on the live scoring. IF it is only 140+ scores that go in there, change the fucking name of the column.
- Mongs bouncing around gurning during live BT Sport interviews.
- Darius winning a leg in 3 less darts than Tractor Boy managed all game on Sunday.
- Paul Nicholson with the line of the night: “I am sure this place has a great health and safety record” :D
- Commentator stating he googled Darius earlier to find out who he was. Then being xenophobic by saying 'We know Darius will have a number of supporters around this country
- Comms say Conan needs double 10....spotter and camera focus on tops
- Scott Waites doing some retarded dancing
- Paul Nicholson saying Harbour reminds him of John Lowe
- Nicholson banging on about WWF wrestlers and their "moves"
- Comms yet again going on and repeating how Dennis Harbour beat James Wade....a then 19 year old on his debut, and Wade even missed match darts
-"We miss you Gary and hope you're back next year" -Nicho showing love for Gary 'Big Jobbo' Jobson.
- Harbour gets 180. Proudfoot - "how do you follow 3 perfect darts at the start of a leg?" With a treble 1, of course! And then a single 5.
- Scott Waites in interview "...because I'm World Champion, my opponents play out of their skins."....After winning comfortably with a 90 average and 37% checkout rate.

Day Five

- Scott Mitchell white knighting for the BDO in the Bournemouth Echo, claiming PDC players would do shit in BDO floor events.
- Glen Durrant admitting in a local newspaper article that the Winmau board being used this week is a joke, and has an unmissable bull.
- De Vos with scoring visits of 32 and 48 in the very first leg
- De Vos starts his first leg on throw with a 43. He then decides to chuck 2 x 180's in.
- De Vos with consecutive scoring visits of 25 and 30 in the third leg of the first set.
- Mitchell with consecutive scoring visits of 40, 60 and 45.
- De Vos misses multiple chance to break at the start of the 3rd as Mitchell has a mare checking out D10.
- Mitchell with a chance to finally register a 13 or 14 dart leg for the first time in the tournament messes it up on D14. He then opens up the next leg on throw with a 43 and a 39.
- De Vos with a fantastic chance to break and take control of the 3rd set after Mitchell has the above howler, hits a score of 38 to hand control of the leg back to Tractor Boy.
- De Vos win a leg with an 11 darter - a full FOUR darts better than Scott Mitchell has managed in the tournament to date.
- De Vos misses three darts for the 3rd set (a break of throw) to allow Mitchell to steal the set.
- De Vos, with 80 left and three darts in hand, somehow only scores 30!!!!!!!
- De Vos with consecutive scoring visits of 42 and 30, and throws in a 35 two throws later.
- Yet another 11 darter for De Vos- still a whole 4 darts better than Mitchell has managed all tournament.
- De Vos, 83 points up after two visits each on the Mitchell "serve", chucks in a scoring visit of 25. Luckily he still wins the leg after both players have a mare checking out.
- Mitchell, with 3 darts in hand and 40 left after 12 darts, finally has a chance to register a sub-15 dart leg. He misses all three darts at double and loses the leg :D
- Mitchell whitewashed in a set he had the throw in twice, losing legs in 19, 18 and 15 darts after having darts for the leg in at least two of them.
- De Vos starts a leg with 60, 41, and 41.
- Mitchell finally wins a leg in less than 15 darts - a 13 darter in the 6th set of his second round match in a set he has to win against throw to stay in the match.
- A lovely 101 out by Mitchell. A shame as his score was 121.
- The general gamesmanship of Mitchell. Taking darts out the board individually even when clustered together.
- Rob Walker declares that the scoring of De Vos was "fantastic", despite him having 10 scores over 100 LESS than the loser.
- Excruciating post-match interview with Mitchell. Comes out with lines such as "anyone who's ever been any good at darts has played here", and "My little village, my heart goes to you"
- Xenophobic woman in the crowd being interviewed. Said her main man was Mitchell, and then she said: "Looking forward to seeing all the others, all the English players". Sigh.
- Channel 4 woman interview Corrine Hammond: "I hear you dont even have a dartboard at home. Does that mean you dont practise at home?" :roll: :roll:
- Patricia Farrell with a scoring visit of THREE!!
- Vassos described the little Canadian woman as "the best player in Canada" which 5 seconds looking at the WDF rankings would disprove.
- Women still playing first round matches 5 days in to a nine day event when all the QF's are on Day 6, SFs on Day 7 and the final on Day 8.
- Farrell with scoring visits of 26 and 40 which result in her losing throw.
- Deta Hedman on comms: "The ladies' standard so far has been very very good"
- Patricia Farrell with a scoring visit of NINE
- Farrell misses SIX darts at D10 to lose throw yet again.
- Farrell barely averaging 71 in a 6-1 (legs) defeat
- Jackpot Joy (sponsors) monging it up on Twiiter about the fancy dress
- Mong in the crowd wearing a "STAND UP IF YOU LOVE THE DARTS" yt-shirt
- Rob Walker: "coming up next it's Wolfie and Jeff Adams". Who the fuck is Jeff Adams?
- John Rawling: "Adams never seems to have a dull match"
- John Rawling saying Waites' scoring was too heavy for Smith in last year's final. Waites averaged 87 and a half...
- Adams, after firing in a 180 and getting the graphics department excited about a 9 darter, then hits a score of THIRTY
- Comms keep calling Ryan Joyce "Paul"
- Crowd singing "Stand up etc" on Wolfie's throw .No reaction from Dundas (the ref)
- "If Smith can get 140 here.......". He then fires the dart into T1.
- Smith with consecutive scores of 45 and 39 at the start of a leg
- Jeff Smiths BDO cash cow finally being put down as he meekly loses to Adams
- Satanic final leg won on Double 1 knocks the spineless 1-dart average down to 29.98, which will upset the most anxious of the statsmongs who have decided that 90 is now gold standard.
- Adams saying he did not give Smith a chance at doubles.. After we all witness him missing dozens.
- Adams interview about how he will spend his prize money with his missus in Marks n Spencer, then realises he shouldn't really say that
- C4 claiming in their caption that Adams LOST 4-1, and also forgetting to update their caption for tomorrow's session, it still said "Waites or Harbour". Walker then compounds the fuck-up by saying we will have to “wait and see” who McGeeney will have to play. Erm, they played last night Rob, and Waites won…
- Nicholson claiming there's only 7 men left in the tournament that Wolfie can lose to, despite there being 13 other men in the draw still.
- Blackwell breaks Fitton in the very first leg with a mighty 20 dart leg
- Fitton missing 6 doubles to break back straight away
- Pip Blackwell’s dodgy tattoos on his arm, they look suspiciously like swastikas
- 180 from Darryl to start the leg. "He's had 9 darters before" declares the commentator. Next score 45. Not one near the treble.
- With 158 left and on his throw, Blackwell power scores his way to 40 and 30. And loses the leg.
- The start of the third set for Fitton: 59 58 59 55 60
- 3rd set 2nd leg Darryl needing 67. Hits a big 2, then 15 to leave the biggest bullseye in the world. Dart in single 5.
- Fitton 6 of 38 on doubles after nine legs. And then later on, 8 from 50.
- A Fitton dart at a double almost hit the fucking light, moving the number ring.
- Commentator cries "here we go then.... for the set...". Fitton was on 188 at the time.
- A run of seven legs completed in 17, 17, 21, 16, 20, 21 and 17. In a Lakeside second round game.
- 3rd leg of the 4th set - took until the 9th visit combined to register a 3-figure score.
- Fitton gets to a Lakeside quarter final with a tournament average of around 86 and a half.
- Fitton hit 13/59 doubles yet still won 4-1...
- Hughes downing a pint during the Fitton interview. Hughes taking the stage minutes later.
- Geert de Vos saying that someone had stolen his darts. “Family friendly atmosphere”. Comms asking people to Tweet in with info! He later found them.
- Jim Williams slurping Toplad in an interview: "I never thought I would be bookies favourite to beat O'Shea of all people"
- Chris Mason: “Yozza is highly regarded by everyone in both codes”
- BT Sport playing the wrong promo, advertising tomorrows darts even before the session had finished
- Commentators creaming themselves because Scott Quinnell is in attendance.
- Fist pump for scoring 60
- “Early signs Jamie Hughes is getting into top gear”. First darts lands in the single 1, closer to the 18 than the 20.
- Comms declaring that "Wolfie in magnificent form earlier today. He averaged below 90!
- Hughes actually has Tipton printed onto the collar of his shirt. Is it in case he gets lost?
- Hughes with a scoring visit of 17
- Comms: " Hughes doesn't care where the darts land". Eh?
- Comms: “'No one beats Andy Fordham in the popularity stakes'”
- Jamie Hughes and Jim Williams winning a leg in 2 darts better than that fucking fat farmer who interferes with cows managed all fucking week.
- Hughes with a scoring visit of 15
- Hughes wins the 1st leg of the 4th set with a mighty 27 DARTER - possibly the 2nd worst leg of the week for the men, which included 6 missed darts by Hughes at D20 and D10.
- Jim Williams wins 2 legs in a row for the first time in the match.....took 4 sets
- 23 legs in the Williams/Hughes game, highest checkout 85.
- Crowd monging out to the soundtrack from fucking Grease.
- Comms: "In 1995 Hogan lost to Paul Burnett who went on to win it". Who?
- Duzza loses the first two sets 3-0, cuts to images of him picking his nose.
- Hogan with a scoring visit of 11.
- Comms making all kinds of crap excuses for Durrant going down 3-0, such as having to wait since Saturday to play this match. The same as two other players, then. Oh and some women will have to wait longer between games.
- Durrant requires 80. First two darts in the single 5. Why he was aiming for 20’s after hitting the first 5 is another story….
- Hogan choking when 3-0 and 2-0 up. Hogan requires double 8 for the match. First dart in double 16
- Comms: " Paul Hogan has some bottle" when he won a leg in the 7th set. This after he missed match darts at 3-0 up in sets and 2-0 up leg in the 4th set.
- For some random reason, Durrant pointing at a badge on his shirt which has the name of a town in North Yorkshire on it after he wins.
- After banging on about averages in his interview after the first round (“players will need an 100 average to beat me this week”), Durrant's average stays below 90 throughout the game.
- Interview after the game. Durrant - "the better player lost tonight". Hogan - "I'm happy with my performance". Happy he missed match darts at 3-0 and 2-0 up ffs!!!!

Continued below......
Last edited by The Ginge Reaper on Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:52 am, edited 274 times in total.
Big changes on the way ! We've heard it before but it's different this time !!!! , I believe Bdo gonna grow x

Tony O'Shea, 6th January 2016

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Fri Jan 06, 2017 10:01 am

Day Six

- Paul Nicholson reviewing Durrant's win last night, states that "Glen Durrant now has Teeside steel in his game". What the fuck does this even mean?!
- A howler of an afternoon session. Four matches, of which only ONE is a mens game. Two are womens games and the other a youth game.
- "He's won more points in the BDO than anyone in the last two months" - Jim Williams bigging up Jamie Hughes in a Tungsten Tales video using the only measurement he knows and a bizarrely short space of time
- Comms yesterday calling the two womens matches this evening "two impressive womens matches". Erm...
- THREE ad breaks before a single live dart was shown
- After two sets, a Dutch kid is averaging six points higher than Waites won the final with last year.
- Girvin kicks a leg off with 42, 43, 43 and 59.
- Channel 4 dedicating 5.5 hours for 4 short matches looks even more stupid after the first match is finished off within 28 minutes.
- Van Tergouw averages 29.40 in his 9-1 (legs) youth victory, which gives him a higher average than most of the men so far, including Darryl Fitton, Tony O'Shea, Jim Williams, Martin Phillips, Pip Blackwell, Ross Montgomery and Wesley Harms.
- Tergouw not averaging more than any of the players who made the Ally Pally last 16 but averaging more than players who made the mens Last 8 at Lakeside
-Girvan interview after the game spouting off that “Lakeside is the greatest stage”. Hes 14, born ten years after the split, one assume she got told this by his county mad parents and he just accepted it as truth
- Rob Walker calls the youth winner "Jeremy". His name is Justin.
- Rob Walker and Danny Crates: "Your averages were better than any of the men so far who have played on that stage". No they werent.
- Zombie face paint and all the rest for a table full of mongs, doing zombie impressions egged on by the cameraman on the way out to the first of the ninety commercial breaks so far.
- McGeeney seen in the players bar hammering the pints and chumming it up with Waites, the man he is about to play for a QF spot in about 40 minutes time.
- '-' under Fallon's name on the 'Nickname' graphic. She really doesn't have a nickname?
- Seema to Fallon's twin: "You're her twin so you must feel her every move". They're not conjoined love.
- Channel 4 padding like fuck as they realised they dropped a bollock with scheduling this for so long - 24 minutes between youth final and next match.
- BDO tweeting that the schedule for tomorrow will not be available until the 2nd Round games have been settled today. Why the fek does that matter?
- John Rawling making a doomed attempt to pronounce the name of Olive Byamukama, getting it wrong twice.
- Deta either rambling too loudly off-mic or speaking normally and her mic is broken.
- Fallon missing 6 darts for a break of throw in the first set.
- Fallon with a scoring visit of SEVEN!
- Comms saying Sherrock doing the very best she could in that set. A set in which she averaged 76, missed 6 darts at double in one leg, and had a scoring visit of 7.
- Comms saying the result of the last set would have been different if Fallon had won another leg. Erm, she lost the set 3-1 so no it wouldnt.
- After kicking a leg off with 140 and 100, Fallon then throws four turds (43, 40, 44, 32) to lose her throw and probably the match.
- Comms announce Sherrock needs a good visit. Her next two are 45 & 40.
- Sherrock on 100, hits T5 to leave 85. Has to check with the scorer what's left.
- Fallon needing 128, first scores 24, then on 104 hits two T18s to bust her score to lose her throw and the match.
- Ashton "much too good for Fallon". A game in which she averaged 81.
- Rob Walker suggesting subtitles for Bobby George.
- Paul Nicholson - "I was a Jocky Wilson fan when I was a kid.... I like snatch"
- On 108, Waites hits the only segment in the vicinity (T1) that leaves no two dart finish.
- Waites throw broken twice in the opening set as he loses it to nil.
- Waites misses three doubles in the 2nd leg of the 2nd set to lose the 5th legs on the spin, losing his throw in 3 of those. Averaging 79....
- Waites opens up the sixth leg of the game (having lost the previous 5 legs) with scores of 40 and 45.
- Waites drops the first two sets without winning a single leg and averaging 80.64.
- Reigning men's champ averaging nearly 10 points short of the new youth champ after 2 sets of his Last 16 match.
- Comms saying the gladiator has been magnificent, whilst averaging almost bang on 90.
- World Champion wins a leg at the 7th time of asking.
- McGeeney misses 3 darts at D8 to allow a clearly out of sorts Waites to break.
- 3rd set 3rd leg: McGeeney with a scoring visit of 30, Waites with one of 28
- McGeeney only wins 4 of the final 16 legs to bottlejob a 2-0 in sets lead.
- McGeeney busts a score of 64 and then misses 3 darts at the double to lose the leg.
- Waites barely averaging more than the Youth champion in victory, the highest outshot from either player being 84 and only 3 180's between them.
- Mention of "Yawkshire Grit" in the post match interview from Waites
- Trinas opening scores in the game with her throw: 41, 55, 28, 60, 55. She finally throws something decent (100) but is broken in 19 darts.
- 10 times world champion on 112. Hits the big 5. "What's left?", she asks the ref.
- De Graaf with a 26 dart hold of throw.
- Trina with a scoring visit of 25 followed by a 28. And then immediately followed by a 45. Set lost.
- With scoring 3 tons in leg 3, Trina turns in visits of 32,57,28,42 and 6 and loses the leg.
- On a scoring visit aiming at T20, Gulliver fires a dart about a centimetre below the T20 bed and then about 4 above it. For some unknown reason, she then fires the final dart into the lower section of the S14 about an inch from the outer bull
- Gamesmanship by Aileen as she goes for a drink of water in the middle of the throw, causing some people on BDO Fanatics to claim Trina should have been awarded the game by default. Yes, not just the leg, but the game!!!!!
- Aileen does enough to win set one against the multiple world champion without hitting a single score of 140 or better in 4 legs
- Current and multiple ladies world champion averages a mighty 63 at the end of the first set
- Trina scores 9 and 28 in the same leg in scoring visits. Still wins it.
- Gulliver misses eight darts at a double. This allows Aileen merely to hold her own throw.
- Aileen with opening scores in a leg of 11 and 40. One decent score, and then 49 and 41.
- Trina saves the match with a 32-DARTER.
- Crowd trying to put Aileen off on match shot, had to be told off by the ref.
- Aileen won with only ONE score of 140+
- Best average of the entire session hit by 16 year old youth player. This a session with the mens and womens reigning champions in it, as well as the new youth hope for the BDO (McGeeney)
- Trina post match interview, being a cow: Walker: "I'm sure Trina will be magnanimous in defeat". Gulliver: "Aileen didn't play her best game". Walker: "Honest appraisal from Trina".
- BDO Fanatics FB page upset that Fatzmaurice, the dead racist who got sacked for being racist, hasn’t been mentioned. “[they] would rather talk about outdated times and to outdated and out of touch people” cried Ross McLoyalty. One assumes he must be being ironic, but its still going on the list.
- Alan Soutar with a kilt and his darts shirt on at Lakeshite. Despite no qualifying for the event
- Corrine Hammond starts the match 45,43,40,60,43,41,59
- A 26 darter to win a leg and 60.48 average enough for the first set
- Trina in the crowd still wearing her playing shirt, hours after losing
- Noppert and Veenstra seen practicing together despite them playing each other in a bit.
- Gallagher with a scoring visit of NINE
- Hammonds best leg is 21 yet she is a set up.
- Hammond just scrapes about the 70 average on the last dart as she beats someone averaging just below 69.
- Interviewer asking Hammond if her opponent put her under pressure... with her 69 average
- The whole Little Richard segment with Labanauskus and Krystos making them hold little round flags and banging on about the Scrabble scores their names would produce.
- Introductions for the players: the mighty Hungarian Open mentioned again, as was the Denmark Open.
- 'Like a racehorse, easy to remember his birthday.' *awkward silence*. 'All racehorses officially born on New Year's Day.' Vassos on Rat'ajskis birthday being on NYD. Laboured to buggery, and had to explain the 'joke'.
- Highly sarcastic noises from the crowd as this arsehole of a leg moves into its fourth hour.
- Oompa Loompas dancing in the aisles, backs to the stage, whilst the players are throwing. David Bowie and KISS also seen in the crowd, as well as a load of Gringos.
- The Pole averaging 76 after 2 sets of a Last 16 match, one score of 140+
- BT Sport play a trailer at 8:24pm during the darts for the darts which has been on since 6:45
- "Darius you require 130". Single 1. Comms - "he doesnt miss by much when he misses"
- Comms still banging on about the youth final but Nathan Girvan is now called Niall.
- Darius misses a big number completely: 116 left, got T19 then went for single 19 and landed about an inch below the double.
- BT Sport showing a replay of a 171 in three separate replays, replaying one dart at a time between throws in the next leg. Like it was something unique.
- Comms highlighting Labanausus' inconsistency by showing his 107 avg sets alongside sets where he averaged 84.
- Darius winning a leg in one less dart than Tractor Boy managed all week.
- Darius goes for D18 to win a leg, just slips into D1. On screen slo-mo replay of him removing his darts with the "Checkout" banner across it….but he didn’t.
- Ratajski putting a dart aimed at D16 into the middle of D8
- Breaks before deciding sets in a best of 7.
- 5 180s in 24 legs
- A string of FIVE 17-darters puts everyone out of their misery
- According to BT the Darius match had some “brilliant moments”.
- Matt Smith patronising Darius for his command of English, saying his post-match interview was nerve-wracking.
- Double interview with Winstanley and Ana. Very cringe and awkward. BT desperate to fill airtime. Interviewer asks if they will care about their opponent during the match. Ana: Tell the truth, you don't care about my feelings. Lorraine: you don't have any feelings. Ana: *giggles* true.
- Random shot of a board in the players bar with 6 of the players on it.
- Scoring visit of 5 from Winstanley
- Nicho referring to darts as a professional sport. As he talks about a heavily pregnant woman playing it.
- Fuck-up of names: Proudfoot calls Hammond “Hamilton” and there is also a mention of the MC “ Richard Ashcroft”
- Heavily pregnant woman winning a leg in the same number of darts as a man who loves cows managed all week.
- Nicho giving out the first-9 averages in the 3rd leg
- Nicholson stating that if Winstanley hit the 156 finish, she would equal the highest checkout ever on the Lakeshite stage. Obviously was out the day Ann Louise Peters finished 160 just last year.
- Comms...."Ana has a chance to get the highest average got by trina back in 2006". She then hits a score of 22, followed by 45,59, 58 and 5.
- Nicho pretending that Anas 98 first set average is one that not many players in the world could cope with. Forgetting that the PDC exists.
- Ana hitting double 13 when needing double 4 makes her "too good" according to Nicho.
- "Ana in control of this leg" as she hits a scoring visit of 22.
- Lorraine hits 5 twice in one leg yet still gets a dart to win it.
- Winstanley licking her fingers as if they are coveted in honey
- Veenstra and Noppert being made to interview each other in a cringe worthy piece. “So, Danny Noppert. Why do they call you Noppie?” “Err, I dunno. Err, err, yeah.”
- Crowd belting out Delilah while BT waste another hundred hours for no reason at all.
- Anastasia getting interviewed in the bar and in walks in Paula Jacklin handing out Turkish Open flyers to people at the bar, probably done on purpose to get on camera
- "We go Double Dutch" Still treating the foreign sorts as quaint novelty acts who are getting in the way of the county matchups.
- "Picking up a very prestigious title at the Europe Cup Singles" - Nicho on Veenstra.
- Coming back from the ads early on the Youtube stream and are backstage with Veenstra and Noppert having a chat and practice whilst quickly getting a pint down them.
- Rawling - "Veenstra is getting a tousling". A what now?
- Plenty of the crowd seen facinf the qrong way during the Noppert match.
- Nicholson said something about Noppert getting to the thick end of things. I presume he meant tight.
- Veenstra rolling over and having his tummy tickled, losing 12-1 in legs.
- Old dears piling into the Quality Street during an interview with Veenstra.
- Couple getting engaged on stage at the end. Cringe.
- Danny Noppert winning two legs last night in less darts than the Dorset Cow Botherer managed all week.
- Lakeshite, which apparently is "unpredictable", sees 6 of the top 8 seeds through to the QF, which is exactly the same number as Ally Pally.
- The Last 16 average is NOT a tournament record, despite the new board with the huge trebles.
- Of the 16 players in the Last 16, only THREE decide to average more than 90 of which one was a losing average. None were above 93.
- The BDO Tweeting in the afternoon that the order of play for tomorrow would not be available until after the end of play, yet they made it available hours before anyway.


Day Seven

- Paul Nicholson predicting a 9-darter there, but with a face that clearly says, "I have no belief at all in what I'm saying"
- Rob Walker: "Day 7: The men's quarters include Martin 'Wolfie' Adams huffing and puffing at Jamie Hughes' door" Huffing and puffing?!
- Fitton: "De Vos is the best player in Belgium"
- Bobby George: "It's a long race, best of 7 sets." It's best of 9, Bobby
- Vassos repeating the "best player in Belgium line" saying "that's damning with feint praise" and mentioning the others that lost in the early rounds, but ignoring Kim Huybrechts still.
- Two sets into Fitton/De Vos and not a single 180 between them.
- De Vos kicks a leg off in a Lakeside quarter final with scores of 41, 60 and 60. However this still proves enough for him to win the leg with a break after Fitton misses three leg darts.
- Fitton with a scoring visit of 30 followed by a 40. He still wins the leg though after De Vos misses SIX darts at doubles.
- Fitton gets everyone excited by gettin 7 darts into a 9 darter before blowing. He wins the leg in 11 darts, 2 better than Tractor Boy managed all week.
- De Vos, throwing in the decider for the 3rd set, chucks in a scoring visit of TWENTY ONE. He still, somehow, gets 2 darts to win the set and misses both to lose it. Had six set darts two legs ago (see above)
- De Vos on throw hits a 180 to kick a leg off but then any advantage is evaporated as he then throws a 45 followed by a 39.
- Fitton needing 25 goes for S9 to even off the score but hits double 9 first, giving himself only one dart for the leg instead of two. He misses and loses the leg, and the set.
- Rob Walker wanking over two sub 90s averages, again.
- De Vos with scoring visits 40 and 26, quickly followed later in the leg by a 43. The leg in full: 42 100 40 26 99 43 95. Didnt get a shot on a double and lost the set on throw.
- Five sets in and not a single player has won their own set (i.e. where they threw first)
- Paul Nicholson: "Its getting harder and harder to win by the year". What, when all the best players keep fucking off?
- A total clusterfuck of an opener to Set 6 with both players missing at least 11 darts at double between them, De Vos ending up tackling D3 and Fitton having problems splitting 10.
- De Vos opens up a leg with 24, just after breaking the Fitton throw.
- Nick Rolls thanking some mongs for shouting out on Fitton's throw
- De Vos with a scoring visit of 39 followed by a 58 when throwing for the set at 2-1 up in legs. 140 points behind after three throws each, he then throws in a 22 and 42 and loses the leg. Still on 56 after 21 darts.
- The bizarre claim from Jim Proudfoot that Darryl Fitton has brought his "best form" to this event. That form has seen him have a tournament average of about 88 and he was 13/58 on doubles in his last game.
- De Vos broken straight away at the start of the 7th set, a set he has to win to stay in the match.
- After 2 x 140, Fitton chucks in a 38 and a 58
- In the very next leg, De Vos with consecutive scoring visits of 24 and 47.
- De Vos hits a 180, and follows it up with a shite 23.
- Fitton splits 30 by going for S6 D12 but buggers it up to allow De Vos to hold his throw when he should have lost it.
- De Vos with consecutive scoring visits of 23, 41 and 42. He somehow still BREAKS in 21 darts as Fitton misses 4 darts at double.
- Fitton then chucks in a 39 for good measure right at the start of the next leg.
- Ad break before a deciding set in a best of 9 sets match.
- De Vos winning a leg in 2 darts better than the Fat Farmer who touches tractors managed all week.
- Vassos - "Eight sets of pulsating, thrill a minute darts". Christ.
- De Vos with scoring visits of 26 and 23.
- De Vos then starts the next leg on his own throw with a scoring visit of 25.
- "Tons are now world class" proclaim the commentators.
- De Vos, on 151, hit 77 (T19-S19-S1) scorer says 75 required not the 74 it should have been. He then goes T17, hits single then S18 S20 leaving Dbl10. Ch4 scoreboard shows he has 18 left.
- Score board disappears in deciding set
- Comms saying that Fitton "must like double 14". Erm no, he hit the wrong number to leave it.
- Fitton, a man recently raped by someone at the Slam who has never won a game on the Lakeside stage, through to a Lakeshite semi final without registering a single average of 90+.
- C4 interviewer Danny Crates calles Darryl "Darren"
- Fitton bringing up the Slam, thus confirming Lakeside as merely a Slam qualification tournament.
- C4 interview: 'Aileen, where did the inspiration for your walkon song, 'Come On Eileen' come from'. FFS!!!!!
- After leaving herself on 163, Aileen throws in a score of 21 for good measure.
- Lisa Ashton finishes a leg in 4 visits, which is one visit better than Scott Mitchell managed all fucking week.
- Vassos's opening gambit for this match was "this is going to be epic". Ashton won the first three legs on the spin.
- Ashton, miles ahead, wastes 5 doubles for the match as De Graaf finally gets on the board.
- Set 1 Leg 3 for De Graaf: 59, 45, 40, 85, 39. One solitary treble.
- Ashton through to the Ladies final with a tournament average better than many have managed in the tournament.
- Deta Hedman yet again mumbling her way through a commentary. Even the subtitler didnt have a clue what she was saying.
- Rob Walker interviews a woman with a replica of the Lakeside Country Club on her head!
- "Jamie won the Romanian Classic last year". That big, huge title.
- Hughes broken in the very first leg of the game, chucking a 46 didnt help.
- Jamie Hughes wins a leg in 4 visits, 1 visit better than the fat farmer managed all week.
- Hughes wins 2 of the first 10 legs played.
- Under pressure for the first time,  Wolfie blows two darts at double eight and loses the third set.
- Six darts into a perfect leg yet Hughes fucks away doubles attempts to lose his throw.
- Comms keep going on about a nine darter which only emphasises how unlikely it is to happen
- QF day and not only are there empty chairs there's whole empty tables.
- Hughes kicks off 180, 12 darts later he's had no shot at double and fucks his throw away again.
- Adams missing 8 darts on his own throw on doubles. Loses leg.
- Adams hits two 180s only to miss 7 darts at double to let Hughes finally hit the winning double.
- Adams starts leg 1 of set 6 with 2 180s and a ton to leave 41, and fails to finish that in 9 darts losing the leg.
- Adams misses 4 darts the very next leg to break back
- A clusterfuck of a set from Adams where he misses SIXTEEN darts at doubles and loses the set 3-0
- Adams 4/27 on double 8 and 16
- Adams opens the very next set with a 28
- Adams 4/27 on double  8/16 Yet he chooses to leave double 8 and misses 2 darts to break, losing the leg
- Hughes goes for bull after hitting 2x T19s on 126. Busts score and loses leg.
- Hughes scores 39 and 44 yet still wins the leg at the start of the decider
- In leg 4 of the decider and a chance to break to win the match,  Hughes opens up with fucking 38 and 42!!! However this still proves enough to win the leg and the match.
- Adams giggling like a cunt after choking like a cunt on stage.
- The whole Hughes interview, including this exchange : "Can I just say happy birthday". Comms : "To who ?". Hughes : "Eh..my friends'. Comms : ?????
- Bo Selecta with yet another attempt to try get into shot so the camera turned away :D
- Pointless advice piece from Bobby George at the end of the programme.
- Duzza necking a Bud in the bar seen on TV
- Ana with a scoring visit of 22
- Ana, in throwing first to save the match, started with scores of 24 and 22.
- Commentator expressed disbelief that Hammond went for the treble 18 first on 308.
- In a leg she has to win to stay in the match, Ana throws three consecutive scores of 30, 45 and 60. She loses the leg and the set and the match.
- 72.33 enough for Hammond to win, who will now have won enough to cover her air fare.
- Hammond's averages on her way to the Womens "World Pro" Final: 70.44, 70.08, 72.33. Comp average 70.95.
- C4 Twitter putting up stats from Hammond game featuring a picture of the wrong player.
- Footloose heard on the PA along with D.I.S.C.O. by Ottowan and the Grease Megamix
- Mason saying the pole is shit
- Mason also suggesting that having lots of fans over from Middlesbrough the other night added to the pressure.
- Durrant called the "worlds #1"
- Darts for Windows going AWOL during the first set of the Durrant game.
- Rawling highlighting how expensive the BDO tour is. Said Durrant must have big bank balance or great sponsor to be able to afford it.
- Large unnecessary close up of Durrant's chin.
- Durrant misses six darts at double to lose his throw
- Comms saying everyone would like to spend their honeymoon at lakeshite
- "that will hush the crowd" - John 'Rawlz' Rawling after Labby wins this first set. Admittance the crowd only want county players to win...
- Darius winning a leg in one visit better than the Fat Farmer managed all week
- Comms saying Durrant is usually a high 90's to a hundred avg player. Durrant himself says around 92-94 is the 'Durrant' average.
- Game is now so shit that comms are discussing Donald Trump being on the Saint & Greavsie show
- 40,46,47,48 from Durrant in consecutive throws.
- Durrant busts 52 and loses the set to a 156.
- Darius chucks a 40 and a 45 in. Loses throw.
- With throw at the start of the 6th set and with 150 left, Darius somehow chucks in scores of 39 and 33. He loses his throw.
- "Ryan Joyce had the best flat cap this week"-  Nicho.
- 22 legs in and no leg won in 4 visits by Durrant.
- Lithuanian misses four darts to go 3-3.
- Durrant in the 7th set having only hit 4 maximums.
- Darius throws 26 meaning he is 231 points behind after TWO throws each
- Commentator described the BDO scheduling lots of off-days between Durrant's first and second game as "luck of the draw".
- Duzz gets through a 29-leg match without winning a single leg in 4 visits and with a current tournament average of 91.33 and 12 180s in 18 sets.
- Durrant talking himself out of winning the title. He's the number 1 in the system for fucks sake. Even Colin fucking Lloyd never talked himself out of titles.
- Scenes in the players bar of players downing drink before going out to play...
- Little Richard talking up the atmosphere which is none existent.
- On 90, Waites has three darts and leaves 45
- Waites opens the deciding leg of the first set with 30
- Ref looks at wrong number on screen and almost gives Waites the wrong outshot. Waites fucks it up anyway.
- Vassos just called Waites "Mitchell"
- Hopeful commentator - "this game is bubbling up nicely.... if they could start hitting big numbers we would be in for a treat"
- "Probably not a disaster in terms of this leg" when Noppert missed a chance to win the leg with Waites on just 83
- Paul Nicholson with a random fit of nostalgia, comparing the Kist -v- Hankey match to an episode of Dallas: "Great drama, good times"
- Noppert missing 4 match darts allowing Waites to checkout 144 to continue the matxh
- Nicholson saying Noppert could join kist and a dutch debutant winning Lakeshite....he forgot Klaasen.
- BT Sport  interviewing the Yorkshire Twit after getting battered" "He was very good wasn't he.... he took you all the way". Waites: "yes he did". Erm no he didn't it was 5-3.
- Waites : "I dont think the best man won, it was 50/50". Delusion.


Day Eight

- Bizarre C4 TV guide write up claiming the MC is "hoarse"
- BT relegating darts to their secondary channel today meaning barely any cunt will watch it as not everyone has it.
- Lakeshite displaying the graphics designed in fucking Microsoft Paint on the big screens.
- Three of the top 4 seeds making the semi finals. Exactly the same as Ally Pally. "Unpredictable".
- Walker calling the end of the Durrant/Darius quarter final "climatic". Erm, it finished 5-2.
- Paul Nicholson making yet more excuses for Durrant in terms of the scheduling of matches.
- Lisa Ashton in the players bar with a pint of lager in hand.
- Trina Gulliver, complete with horrific jacket, being interviewed by Danny Crates. Saying nothing of substance and being asked nothing worth listening to. Her trying to smile is also fucking unnatural
- "darts equivalent of the ashes" proclaimed Rob Walker.
- Hammond yet to drop a set in her 3 matches so far apparently. At least that is what Rob Walker said, she has actually dropped 2 sets.
- Hammond pictured moments before the game at a table full of booze.
- "We just had Right Said Fred on" proclaims Rob Walker as the mongs start rocking out to Is This The Way To Amarillo
- Paul Nicholson claiming this is on the telly in Australia. Erm, it's not on telly outside of the British Isles, Paul.
- Random man in the crowd holding up a sign saying "Gammon"
- Lisa Ashton called the "Lancashire Rose" despite Bolton having been in Greater Manchester since the early 1970's.
- Comms questioning why the womens event exists during the womens final.
- Former Eastenders cab driver Charlie Slater gets big up from the comms.
- A technical fuck up during the second set delays play by a few minutes, get a a slow hand clap from the crowd.
- Corrine with consecutive scoring visits of 23 and 26, spraying the darts all over the top sectors of the board. This still wins her the leg.
- Rawling claiming Hammond isn't here to make the numbers,  despite her being one of the last two women standing out of a field of 16.
-  Rawling claiming that Ted Hankey hit 22 180s in the 2000 final, when it was actually the semis.
- 57, 55, 24 from Hammond at the start of the 2nd set decider. She then scores 25 and 20 in her fourth and fifth visits
- Rawling apparently not being aware of Tony David's existence.
- "Well these are the matches and moments that motivated these players to both pick up darts all these years ago". And then nothing. Rob Walker talking pish.
- Comms claims that Ashton is playing brilliantly despite her 82 average
- Hammond with a scoring visit of 18.
- Charlie Slater appears on camera again, and the comms treat us with further details about the character, such as his storylines on the programme.
- Rawling claiming today has been sold out for weeks and months. You could still get a ticket for it last week when I looked.
- Hammond on 37, hits treble five to leave double 11, then hits single 8, then busts with a single 16 when going for double 7. She still wins the leg in 26 darts though.
-  Ashtons 81 Average performance deemed emphatic
- Ashtons chav daughter screeching all the way through the match.
- Comms saying Ashton was impressive. Averaged under 82.
- Walker claiming the trophy is a permanent feature in the Ashton household despite her not having it in her house for the last 12 months.
- Nicholson claiming women's darts has improved massively in recent years.
- Ashton wins the event without dropping a single set.
- An utterly pointless piece with Bobby George about darts terminology.
- C4 still ripping the skin off their collective dick over the Fitton 170 checkout from yesterday
- Rob Walker saying there is "so much excitement for Noppert in Holland". This is despite the worldwide YouTube stream not going above 9,000 viewers at any point so far.
- Paul Nicholson claiming that Patrick Chaplin has a PHd in darts, when it's actually in history.
- Crowd monging it up to a rendition of DJ Otzi.
- Fitton on Noppert, Fitton states "He is a high scorer like me", says the guy with the 88 avg.
- Scott Mitchell hanging around all week since being knocked out in the hope of being on telly, which is achieved before the Noppert as he is interviewed wearing a horrific shirt that has sponsor logos on it despite him not playing.
- "The thing is these guys can score" claims Nicholson as Fitton is halfway through scoring a 57.
- "Come on, fill it up" says Vassos as Fitton hits T20 with his first 2 darts.  The third darts ends up in the 5 about an inch and a half above the treble.
- Fitton loses first set in straight legs missing 6 darts at a double, Noppert averaging 89.
- the huge bias of Vassos towards Ditton.  Celebrating checkouts going in
- A shout out to the Luxembourg Open!
- Vassos essentially confirming that the BDO is a one tournament tour. Saying Fitton can take time off next year as he automatically qualifies for Lakeshite.
- hardly a murmur in the crowd when Noppert breaks throw, it's as if the crowd is just full of county players and officials. Oh, hang on, it is.
- Fitton losing 6 of the first 7 legs to go 2-0 down.
- Noppert on a double whilst Fitton is back on 281.
- Fitton capable of averaging north of 96 says Vassos
- Vassos: "the Viking approves" - camera on Andy Fordham when a leg is won. Fordham makes no movement or facial expression whatsoever.
- Fitton with a scoring visit of 33. Comms saying the crowd were to blame.
- Fittons opening score in the 3rd set decider (the very next leg) is 25. He still wins the leg though.
- Noppert falling apart in the 4th set missing darts to keep it on throw.
- Crowd cheering missed darts at doubles by Noppert
- Noppert firing a set dart about a foot above the double.
 - Vassos now calling Fitton "Tony O'Shea"
- Paul Nicholson: "If anyone was going to hit a nine darter here this week, I always thought it would be Darryl "
- Noppert with a scoring visit of 28.
- YouTube stream finally cracks 10k after 8 and a bit days of play.
- Comms on Jackie the old Belgian cunt" he is a party animal"
- Both players trade scores of 48 one after each other in the eighth set.
- Fitton misses double 7 by a mile to level the match 4-4 in sets. NOppert takes out 101 to then snatch the set and lead 5-3
- Comms barely disguised dissapointment at Fittons missed D7
- interview in the players bar in the break. "We all want Fitton to win"
- A scoring visit of 56 and failing to check out 68 sees Fitton in the shit.
- Fatton finally goes above 90 in the tournament - and loses 6-3 :D
- The whole Fitton interview after the game. Utterly seething,  saying he isn't going to make excuses and then blames the crowd and the breaks,  despite being a beneficiary of the breaks yesterday. He then says the PDC do the breaks better and the BDO will never be as big as the PDC and he only stayed in the BDO to help them out.
- Pissed up Adams wheeled out for an interview
- Hughes with a scoring visit of 25. This helps him BREAK the Durrant throw as he chucks in turds of 40 and 45 himself.  All this in the very first leg.
- Hughes scores NINE when coming to the board with 100 left (5, T3, 1)
- John Rawling going to great pains to tell us Jim Bowen hosted Bullseye
- Hughes fucks away three at 40 to lose his throw.
- Comms talking about cricket then wrestling instead of the darts.
- Hacksaw Jim Duggan mentioned in comms.
- Claim that a Lakeshite semi finalist  needs to be buoyed by a football result in order to get him to perform to an even basic standard.
- The Durrant shuffle
- Hughes wins 4 legs in the first 4 sets of a Lakeshite semi final.
- Yozzer declining the 170 chance but hitting big 15 to leave himself on an odd number.
- Durrant scores 30 in both the 1st and 2nd legs of the fifth set, followed by a 34 in the third leg.
- Duzza on 70 with two darts in hand hits S1 with the first
- Massive random zoom right into Hughes' ear. Looked yellower than Bobby Georges teeth
- Hughes hits his fourth max of the match in the fifth set and comms says "He means business"! He is currently 4-0 down.
- Ref calling the wrong Hughes score.
- Hughes with consecutive scoring visits of 40 and 41.
- In a leg he must win Hughes starts with 55.
- Hughes misses 6 darts on his own throw to make it 4-2 in sets. Instead he loses to make it 5-1
- An advert featuring MvG in the ad break
- Throwing for the match needing 56 Duzza misses big 16, hitting S7 instead.
- 38 matches played in the men's draw and no single average above 97.
- Hughes claims given the chance he'd have come back, forgetting he fucked away six darts to go 4-2.
- Mason basically saying the BDO is soft as shit
- The side-on camera angle when the players are throwing which shows the crowd chatting and not looking at the board.
- the horrific Harry Potter picture that appeared on the BDO Facebook page.

Day Nine

- Realisation sets in amongst sports fans that Channel 4 bringing the final forward an hour means it now clashes with half of the Man United vs Liverpool game.
- the general Twitter and forum confusion as to when the final is on. BDO Twitter said it was on at 6.45 before quickly changing it.
- Dutch media effectively taking the piss out of the BDO, calling it the “amateur leagues”
- Mongs in Trump, Simon Cowel and Queen Elizabeth masks being Paul Nicholson trying to get in shot.
- Walker claiming this is Nopperts first visit to Lakeshite despite him playing in ranking tournaments in the building twice in the last 8 months.
- In an individual sport, the Dutch seemingly needing a "team manager"
- Adams wearing a normal shirt...with a fucking Finder sponsor logo plastered on it.
- Fat Farmer trying to get in shot in the players bar. He is then interviewed later on in an utterly horrific jacket
- Division of the highest checkout prize is skewed. If Durrant hits the highest finish again he still splits it 50/50 with Fitton. Yet if Noppert hits the 170 he too gets a full one third share.
- John Gwynne taking the piss out of Noppert’s walk on music, calling it “techno-crud”
- Both finalists with a tournament average of 91
- Musical treats of the Proclaimers, Tom Jones and YMCA
- Both players missing the comedy bull twice in the bull off.
- Duzza necking beers on camera seconds before the game
- Duzza kissing Noppert. Fiercely competitive stuff…
- Noppert missing 5 darts at a double and Durrant misses 7 before winning a leg he was 7 darts into a 9 darter in.
- Durrant 2/12 on doubles after the second leg.
- C4 showing a nine dart finish caption despite there not having been one.
- Noppert compared to Johan Cruyff.
- Highest outshot in first set of a world final – 24
- Nicho talking about how if Duzza held his throw eveytime in this final he would win...................Noppert breaks his throw in leg 1 of the set.
- Use of the phrase “sporting immortality” by the comms
- Nicholson suggesting every kid thinks about winning Lakeshite when they start playing.
- Noppert takes 9 darts to check 135, then opens with a 58 next leg.
- One leg under 15 darts in the first two sets of the final.
- Noppert with a scoring visit of 23.
- Noppert dives below the 90 average with a scoring visit of 90.
- Durrant with 56 and 2 darts in hand chooses to hit single 8.
- Comms waxing lyrical about mongs sat a table dressed up as Nigel Farage amongst others.
- 40 and 28 in succesive visits for the BDO number one.
- 60, 43 and 26 to open the deciding leg of the fourth set.
- Noppert fucks up checking out 9. First of all he busts the score, second time he only scores 1. Loses leg and throw.
- The claim that Paul Lim hit his 9 darter in 1993
- 59, 45 and 60 to open the leg from the two players combined.
- Rawling claiming Durrant is popular with the crowds. Not true. They gave him a ton of shit against Waites last year.
- 6 sets into a world final both players hovering around a 92 average - 22 points per visit less than MVG in full flow at Ally Pally.
- The decision to have a full on proper 10 minute break after the 6th set, when they have had ad breaks to have a rest in the entire match, and indeed tournament
- Noppert resuming with 39, 55 and 60 after the break.
- At 3-3 in a first to 7 Vassos says that 'If Glen gets a couple of sets ahead he could race away. No shit.
- Noppert misses D12 for the set with a dart even the camera didn’t catch, was somewhere in orbit by later that evening
- Durrant opens up the decider in Set 8 with 47 and 55. Noppert throws a 42 in for good measure
- Did you know Glen was a good front-runner, Vassos has only mentioned it about 5 times in the last 5 legs.
- Terrible engraving job on the trophy, no year seemingly done in the same style as the last.
- Left on 80 Durrant showboatsand goes for two tops only to bust on double 15, Noppert fucks away darts at doubles, Durrant then misses big 20 to give Noppert more chances to fuck away before he finally wins the leg.
- Noppert starts off a leg on his throw with 81, 60, 60 and 60 resulting in him being 208 points behind after 4 throws each. Loses leg and more than likely the set.
- Noppert goes for bull on 129 after hitting T19 and S12 thinking he has 50 left. Hits the 25...but he had 60 left. However he still wins the leg to break the throw and then chucks in a 41 at the start of the next leg. Loses the throw.
- No live ticker on the BBC website like they did for the PDC final.
- No checkout over 100 in the whole match
- Average of 93 good enough to win for Durrant
- Only one leg of darts won in 4 visits in the entire final.
- Duzza claims moments after winning the BDO title that “His final challenge is the PDC”
- Channel 4 getting the darts off half an hour early to show a repeat of a travel programme.
- Almost an hour since match dart and still nothing on the mobile version of the BBC website. It did later appear on there, about 17 articles down.
- Rob Walker at the end of the broadcast wished Nicholson well on qualifying but didn't actually say what he was qualifying for.
- PDC congratulated Durrant on his "Lakeshite World Title", but Durrant in his post-game interview only referred to himself as the "BDO Lakeshite champion".

Post Tournament

- BARB overnights show that Channel 4 got an average 1.01m for the darts, which would confirm it as the least watched Lakeside in the UK ever, as well as the world given the lack of TV coverage. A repeat of a film on Channel 4 in the same slot last year got more viewers.

Howler Count after Completion of Tournament - 854
Last edited by The Ginge Reaper on Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:13 am, edited 84 times in total.
Big changes on the way ! We've heard it before but it's different this time !!!! , I believe Bdo gonna grow x

Tony O'Shea, 6th January 2016

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:31 am

Up to 13 pre-tournament already, with a full day yet to go.
Big changes on the way ! We've heard it before but it's different this time !!!! , I believe Bdo gonna grow x

Tony O'Shea, 6th January 2016

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by Noisycrowds » Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:49 am

best field ever assembled

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by BeppeBergomi » Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:56 am

Never watched BDO though starting watching the darts for a year now... From what I'm hearing in here it seems to be more useful if I go to YouTube and watch some old Premier League matches if I really wanted to watch some darts at the moment although I'm still curious to see what's going on at Lakeside and just to see the difference from PDC... Though I think then it won't be worth it....

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by Noisycrowds » Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:58 am

i dont watch it either never have since the split apart from occasional game when people on darts forums suggested i should

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by Lister of Smeg » Fri Jan 06, 2017 12:03 pm

I can't help with this thread. No fucking way am I watching those shit bastards. I shall however be laughing at all the fuck ups posted by others.

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by Noisycrowds » Fri Jan 06, 2017 12:04 pm

+1

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by sennafan24 » Fri Jan 06, 2017 12:12 pm

I'll be watching, for better or worse.
HalloweenJack wrote: Sat Oct 17, 2020 7:09 pm
Randall wrote: Sat Oct 17, 2020 7:05 pm Dulla has never faced anything like Taylor in top gear.
Maybe he could have dragged Taylor down, we will never know.

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by Noisycrowds » Fri Jan 06, 2017 12:21 pm

i shall get all the averages from here from monday

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by Pigpen » Fri Jan 06, 2017 2:26 pm

splitting the coverage between two broadcasters - giving the evening matches to the channel that half the country can't watch

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The Ginge Reaper
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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Fri Jan 06, 2017 2:30 pm

Pigpen wrote:splitting the coverage between two broadcasters - giving the evening matches to the channel that half the country can't watch
Yeah but thats been the case for years now. Although there are no evening FTA highlights, so I shall add that in.
Big changes on the way ! We've heard it before but it's different this time !!!! , I believe Bdo gonna grow x

Tony O'Shea, 6th January 2016

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M H
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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by M H » Fri Jan 06, 2017 2:41 pm

Biggest howler is this shit is actually gonna happen
When you actually feel anger over a place like this it's time to get a life

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Mabbsy
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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by Mabbsy » Fri Jan 06, 2017 2:41 pm

- Sacking off the commentator who, for the past 24 years has been the bitter and twisted voice of BDO darts. #newera

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Stef
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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by Stef » Fri Jan 06, 2017 3:19 pm

-Expecting Channel 4 to cancel Deal or No Deal to show Womens 1st round matches on their channel.

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Fri Jan 06, 2017 3:22 pm

Ha, DoND was ending anyway. Did you see the final few episodes? Dear fucking god.
Big changes on the way ! We've heard it before but it's different this time !!!! , I believe Bdo gonna grow x

Tony O'Shea, 6th January 2016


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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Fri Jan 06, 2017 3:25 pm

Noisycrowds wrote:http://www.channel4.com/programmes/categories/sport

where is the darts
Ive just replied to this in the other thread - they havent actually shown any darts yet. So once they do, it will go on that page, its a catch up page by the looks.
Big changes on the way ! We've heard it before but it's different this time !!!! , I believe Bdo gonna grow x

Tony O'Shea, 6th January 2016

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Noisycrowds
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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by Noisycrowds » Fri Jan 06, 2017 3:29 pm

its there main sport page

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Re: Lakeshite Howlers Thread

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Fri Jan 06, 2017 3:33 pm

Noisycrowds wrote:its there main sport page
I just Googled "Channel 4 Sport" and that same link came up.

It said "Watch the best of Channel 4, E4 and More4 on demand".

Its just an on demand page. And as they havent actually shown any darts yet, there is nothing to watch.

Should it still have no darts on there by Sunday, I'll add it in.
Big changes on the way ! We've heard it before but it's different this time !!!! , I believe Bdo gonna grow x

Tony O'Shea, 6th January 2016

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