Behold! The 2018 Lakeside Howlers Thread!

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Behold! The 2018 Lakeside Howlers Thread!

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:48 am

Pre-Tournament

- Ratajski wins the Winmau World Masters at a canter (beating the top two seeds) in front of a rapidly emptying Bridlington, wins a Lakeside spot, and then promptly sticks two fingers up to the BDO by declining the spot and choosing the PDC version which he hadnt even publicly qualified for at this point
- The above means that NONE of the 2017 BDO TV event winners are at Lakeside as Machin (who won the WDT) didnt even bother coming over to try and qualify.
- Ex Lakeside finalist Jeff Smith also sticks two fingers up by choosing the PDC event in favour of sitting at home and being loyal
- The draw not being done until over two months after the field has been finalised
- The draw not ending up on TV, despite talk of it being and Winmau even Tweeting this fact
- The draw not even done live, Richard Ashdown claiming it was done earlier the same day despite Fordham needing to be at an exbo in Torquay that day also. Hmm...
- The BDO (or Des) announcing from Tenerife that the draw was to be released onto the Channel 4/BDO websites at 7pm, hilarity ensuing when Channel 4 put it on their website at 4.45pm causing massive seething from numerous people including Ross Montgomery
- The draw featuring at least 4 players who had their names spelt incorrectly (Darryl "Daryl" Fitton, Chris "Gilliand" Gilliland, Umit "Uygonsozlu" Uygunsozlu and Vicky "Prium" Pruim)
- Belgians being shown as Dutch in graphics at the end of the draw, despite them being shown with the correct nationality during the drawing of the balls..
- Auntie Sue writing a ridiculous War and Peace write-up on the draw only minutes after 7pm (proving it must have been written ages back), claiming it was a "draw and a half" (at least it wasnt fucked up this time like her husband did last year), and claiming Paula Jacklin, who has never won a TV match in a major event, is in "form"
- Absolutely no mention of the other broadcast partner (BT Sport) during the draw, either visually or verbally.
- Still about 200 tickets left for the final as of the 7th December.
- Playing contracts reportedly withholding prize money from players for a "significant period of time"
- In addition, the players being made to sign not one but TWO contracts as a revised one was sent out after they had the first lot all sent back in.
- Lakeside still not able to confirm actual session times as of the 7th December.
- Still no sign of the drawn matches in text form on the BDO site, only the video clips, 5 days after the draw.
- Prize money reportedly at a standstill again, all tiers unchanged since 2014 (Prelim losers have never seen an uplift) with the winners cheque not increased since 2010. (confirmed prize money standstill by BDO FB on 12th Dec)
- Defending Champion openly stating he will switch to the PDC should he not defend his title.
- An order of play still not available 6 days after the draw.
- The initial order of play shows Chris Harris as being from Northern Ireland, when he is in fact Welsh
- Furthermore nobody is still able to spell Vicky Pruim's name right, again featuring as "Vicky Prium" on the order of play.
- The BDO on Facebook saying that the Youth final is part of the ladies first round
- The BDO using the worst possible picture quality known to man for Tricia Wright
- The BDO release the full 9 day schedule which contains a multitude of howlers: “Scottt” Baker, “Derek” Telnekes, Michael “Uterbuchner” and “Gert” de Vos all feature as typos, Andy Baetens is Dutch (again), there is no Day 8 and two “Day 7” listings, they can't be bothered inserting the names of the two Youth finalists despite them being known for months, and the 1st mens semi final in the afternoon session is listed as starting at 19:00.
- Partner of board member using their shared FB account to abuse the partner of Darry Fitton and Bob Anderson, as well as the Cheshire county chairman, in a discussion about one of the howlers above.
- FB post from the BDO claiming the event is the "world's biggest darts tournament", attracting some bemusement in the comments.
- A little bit of nepotism as the wife of a board member (who has never won a TV match in a major event in her life) is given plum free to air slot on TV for her first match, whilst top seed Deta Hedman is lumbered with evening session tucked away on a pay TV channel
- Viagogo selling Lakeside tickets with a large picture of PDC player Raymond van Barneveld emblazoned at the top of the page
- Lakeside proudly declaring on Twitter that the event contains the "world's best 56 players", 16 of them are women and that's before you even point out the obvious. They also missed out the two youth players from the total...
- The Lakeside darts site has decided to spell a players name a different way twice on the same page: 'Pengiran Mohamed" and "Pengiram Mohamed"
- Rhian Griffiths claiming on a Gofundme begging page that Lakeside, other than on Channel 4 in the UK (missing out BT Sport which is a howler in itself), will be shown on "various other broadcasters around the world", when the event (at the time of writing) has no TV deal outside of UK/Ireland/New Zealand and will solely be on Youtube elsewhere.
- The BDO taking three attempts to deliver a Happy Xmas message whilst promoting Lakeside at the same time, riddled with spelling/grammatical errors, a squiggly spell check line, and the line that "fancy dress is encouraged"
- One of the top seeds at the event going onto the BDO FB page to encourage the fans to watch illegal streams of the event rather than pay for the coverage the BDO have secured on TV.
- BDO Twitter issuing a Tweet more or less hoping the pesky foreigner Darius Labanauskas loses to Scott Mitchell, which was hastily deleted.
- BDO Twitter issuing a Tweet claiming Ross Montgomery won the Jersey Open...when it was actually Scott Waites.
- Sharon Prins having her name changed to "Sharon Prinns" on the awful PowerPoint thing on the BDO site/FB page
- Paul Hogan (not qualified) and Jeff Smith (twice, also not qualified) featuring in the C4 promo
- Wayne Warren (Welsh) having his nationality changed to English on the awful PowerPoint thing on the BDO site/FB page, the latter with links to "page not found" on the C4 website.
- The quality of some of the pictures being used of players on the BDO website: the one of Edwards looks like a photo of a photo, the one of Day looks like Jabba the Hutt, and some of the others have horrific stretch/cropping issues.
- BDO Twitter issuing a Tweet claiming that the "Angry Turk" (a howler in itself) hasnt practiced. Hardly selling the game.
- Top BDO player Ross Montgomery slags Lakeside and governing body off in Scottish newspaper over consecutive days, 2/3 days before event starts
- As of 2 days before the event, sales are 900 tickets down on last year and the final still has 100 tickets unsold.
- BDO preview listing a player as "Conan The Whitehead"
- BDO preview suggesting Jim Williams/De Vos/Aileen de Graaf will be recording "sky scraping averages"
- Jamie Hughes giving an interview where he claims Lakeside has been the home of darts for "more than 40 years", a venue that has only held the event since 1986
- Second seed gives interview to the BBC where he admits the PDC is the future of darts and he will be switching at some point in the future.
- the BDO deciding that Northern Ireland is in a different country to the United Kingdom when announcing broadcast details.
-Three of the evening sessions not even selling 50% of tickets (one of them not even 40%) by the morning of the opening day

Day One

- the international YouTube feed having the word "Chamionship" instead of Championship
- Talking about the PDC final 1 whole minute into the broadcast
- Rob Wakers intro at the start of the program, the sound spewing from his mouth was not synchronised with the actual video.
- Nicholson claiming that Lakeside “doesn’t have to change” and that the man on the street associates darts with Lakeside
- Rob Walker claiming the best players in the world have graced “this” stage for 40 years
- Bobby George saying that he rates Kyle Mc uhh uhh but he couldn't actually remember what his name is.
- Break for ads before the first match
- Evil alcohol sponsor sign on the stage
- Interviewing fans in fancy dress, the same fancy dress Sue Williams insists the BDO don’t do.
- Seema Jaswal down in the crowd, interviewing a teacher named Colin from Motherwell who's dressed as a wolf and howling nicely. Seems didn’t listen to a word the wolf said. “I am down from Glasgow” the wolf said. Seema then asks “where have you come from?”
- break to show one advert between walk-ons and the match starting
- The noise of the dartboard! Apples hitting a Transit van.
- McGeeney on 164, hits a score of 23.
- Deano reveals that Adams had issues with his belt. Walker mentions that Wolife is carrying a lot of "timber these days"
- 53-dart set, McGeeney wins it 3-0. Wolfie averaging 77.
- Since coming back from the first break they seem to have stopped updating the scores after each individual dart.
- Set 2 Leg 1, Wolfie throws 7 scores under 100 and McGeeney breaks him in 19 darts
- Comms reduced to bringing up a 100 average Adams hit 16 years ago.
- Shot of crowd with woman playing on her phone paying no attention to the darts on stage.
- Vassos saying of Adams "He's just persuaded his average north of 80"
- "if you only watch darts one week a year you won't know what a great year McGeeney has had", totally ignoring his pathetic TV appearances. "McGeeney has had a spectacular year", apparently.
- Rawling excitedly on Adams: "106 for a break of throw", smacks first dart a mile into single 5
- Took ten legs for the BDO #1 and the "legend" to muster a 180 between them.
- stone cold silence from the crowd when McGeeney wins the 3rd set
- Adams with a scoring visit of 21
- 23-darter for Adams to break in set 4, both spraying them all over. "In terms of scoring it's been a bit scruffy" says Rawling.
- 1 x 180 in the whole first 13 legs of the Adams/McGeeney match
- Adams throwing for the match starts with 22
- Vassos needing to have the tie-break rule explained to him!
- Wolfie wins the leg to go up 2-1 in the fifth set, comms "Wolfie seemingly inspired" as Wolfie throws a 22 to start the next leg.
- Match of the tournament according to the comms. It is the first fekkin match.
- Twat in the crowd cheering as McGeeney ferrets up and hits a double by mistake.
- Rawling again calling Adams a "Lakeside legend", as he throws 26.
- Adams wins the bull to go first in the sudden-death leg, then gives away the advantage immediately by scoring 41,45 and 28 in his first 3 visits.
- Walkers attempts at pronouncing "Penigram”
- Nick Kenny coming out to "Freed From Desire".
- O'Shea: "I think we have a classic already". Spoken at the end of the first bloody leg.
- Rawling: “The averages, you can almost forget them"
- Kenny giving it the Mensur. After an 18 darter.
- Rawling thinking 90-30 is 40.
- The PDC wasp makes an appearance, Mandingle chasing Nick Kenny around with a flannel.
Toplad with a smashing quip about the Wasps 'B' team.
- Comms tiptoeing around Ratajskis absence. O’shea reasonable happy it let Jobbo in because he is “in form”.
- Paul Nicholson referring to "great players" like Geoff Wylie and Keith Rooney
- Comms cutting out
- Griffiths going T10 on 66 with two in hand, Ashton on a theoretically simple finish
- Ashton with a scoring visit of 7
- A 140 by Griffiths totally missed by the cameras as they were on Ashton the whole time
- Deta thinking the Ladies 1st Round should be best of 5 sets
- Nicho: "The ladies' competition for me is the highlight of this year"
- No mention of who’s actually playing Gary Robson.
- Rob down in the crowd calls it "a carnival atmosphere" and that he can't believe they're halfway through the first afternoon after the third match. What's half of 4?
- According to the taped interview Mohamed started playing darts in his teenage years, and that was 32 years ago. Cut to the info graphics which list him as 56 years old.
- Comms saying that Robson threw a great average...8 years ago.
- Finton monging about in the crowd with some Dutchman who brings him pies
- Ex employee saying the place hasn't changed in thirty years
- Pingu hits the d11 going for d8 . Robbo nicks it with a 28-darter to win.
- First afternoon over, and there's been more legs won in ten visits than in four.
- Nicholson mentioning the Robbo/MvG game from years ago and how he 'stuffed' him "a few years ago". 11 fekkin years ago.
- YMCA playing followed by D.I.S.C.O!! Pissed up clowns dancing around their handbags.
- Mason: "It's called the World Professional Championship, but it's more of a family event."
- Justin Thompson introduced as 'a two time Geelong Darts Open champion'
- Vassos calling the Gilliand game a "Darts equivalent of a ultra marathon"
- Gilliand missing 8 match darts by a country mile
- the score graphic reads "PRELIM. ROUND" even though there's plenty of space to spell out the word.
- Comms looking at Thompsons Wiki page and reading stuff from it even though it has clearly been vandalised, including such lines as "Justin also won the 2017 Budapest karaoke competition and has a vast array of fidget spinners which he uses to dazzle the ladies"
- Nicho’s commentary of the Thompson game including chat about the traffic situation around Melbourne and the trials and characters of the Melbourne darts league
- "Lisa Ashton looked wonderfully good winning her game earlier". She averaged 74.
- Rawling: "The crowd's at capacity - many of them staying on from the afternoon's entertainment." Possibly because it's all on a single ticket...
- Top Lad thinking T West won masters in 2004, the final in which he lost to King..
- 22 minutes to play the first 4 legs of the Hedman/David match
- "David has improved her scoring".. 10 scored.
- David, with 100 left, inexplicable hits T19 first dart.
- Rawling lying about Detas final average of 64 by claiming it was 74.
- BT Sport graphics labelling Joe Chaney as English instead of American.
- First two matches of the evening taking almost 3 hours to complete, meaning Chaney doesn’t take the stage until near 10pm
- Chaney’s walk on music
- Nicholson obsessing over wrestling
- Commentator calling Noppie a good looking player
- Noppie leaves himself on D1 and goes inside it on two consecutive turns with his first dart, loses leg.
- Nicholson stating you need to hit 2 trebles to finish 128.
- More insights into the Tennessee wrestling scene from Nicholson. ...and on Liz Taylor's hat collection, all while darts thud into the board without attracting comment.
- Nicholson: "the Gulf of Mexico is not far from Tennessee". About 550 miles at its nearest point, Paul....
- Grease Megamix, Agadoo
- Comms going nuts over one set of darts at high standard, both match averages will end well below the mythical 100 barrier
- Mitchell roaring and fist-pumping in front of Labanauskas after winning the third set on D1, following an embarrassing pull into single 10 when aiming for D6.
- Mitchell scoring 64 (t20, 1, t1) and leaving 392 - "Three good darts for 64"
- "I tell you what, it's half past eleven at night at Lakeside and not a soul is leaving" , as camera shows loads of empty seats.
- Mitchell hot-footing it off the stage after he won, as he needed the toilet, despite there being a break less than 10 minutes before the end of the match.
- Nicholson issuing a Tweet saying the highlight of his day was the “wrestling banter” with John Rawling.

Day Two

- Ad break after FIVE MINUTES of coverage.
- Rob Walker claims Darius's nickname is "Big D".
- Channel 4 "highlights" ignoring the first set of Darius and Mitchell, despite it likely to be the highest quality set of the whole tournament
- Jobson necking about half a pint in the background of Mitchell's interview minutes prior to his match with Durrant
- Durrant not missing a chance to bring up Boro FC right at the top of the interview.
- Durrant: "Sometimes I'm pinching myself when I'm playing players like Darryl Fitton"
- Duzza correcting himself in interview: "becoming world champion…Lakeside champion"
- Nicho: 'Robson played really well yesterday'. He averaged 84
- O'Shea: "We make a lot of jokes about Robson's top. Looks more like the Barton bridge than the Tyne bridge"
- Vassos forgetting Robson didn't play here last year, as he hits a scoring visit of 5 to leave 300 (S1, S1, S3)
- Durrant has to turn to his left to tell someone to shush. Now Robbo's doing it too.
- Durrant boldly turns down the bull with Robbo on 167. Then Robbo get down to a shot at the bull, and misses even the outer ring by an inch, landing halfway up the 20 segment.
- "There's not many who would want to face him on that sort of form" says Vassos. 95 average for Durrant….
- Rob Walker: "Durrant avoids the curse of the defending champion" alluding to first time winner not defending the year after, forgetting Barney and Bristow managed it anyway.
- O'Shea bigging up the BDO conveyor belt
- Big Robbbo saying he'd have liked a day off between matches, almost certainly for reasons alcohol related.
- The Turk on shanghai, hit the T20 and then planted a dart into S1.
- Comms: "I know from personal experience, Turkey has exploded with darts"
- Rawling bored off his skin reads a long, long explanation of the origin of the darts term 'Shanghai' while the 'action' crawls along to Double 1 drama in the background
- Comms going quiet for extended portions of the Dodgy Harris vs Angry Foreigner. The comms sound absolutely bored about the whole affair.
- Rawling subtly hinting at the absolute drag of Uygunsozlu - Harris by asking how long the match has been going. "It's got a feeling of a match that's already been going a fair old time and still has a fair time to go". O’Shea replies its only one set all.
- Score is 1-1 in best of 5. Comms: "Potentially four sets to go"
- Harris with a scoring visit of 22
- O'Shea on comms: "Is this the first time Harris has been in front?" John Rawling replies "Er no Tony, he won the first set."
- "We can pretty much forget about averages from here on in" says Rawling, as they stand at 77 vs 79 going into the decider.
- O’Shea: "You get a feeling even the bull up would take 20 minutes"
- Coral joining Bet365 in taking the piss out of the world's biggest darts tournament
- back to back 23 darters.
- Umit takes a quarter of an hour trying to work out what's left, eventually deciding it's 24 then hits a Single 9.
- Turk throws 21 darts without getting a dart at a finish.
- Rawling at the end of the match with the Turk cant believe the winner won "With an average of, yes, listen to this, it happened, with an average of 75.22, effectively admitting the match was utter shite.
- Nicho explaining that Harris averaged 75 because of the pace of the Turk. Also "Sometimes you have to play continental players with different cultures as they play the game differently"
- Adams in the bar in his darts shirt despite being eliminated the day before
- Lady interviewer to Harris: Lady: "Why do they call you the noisy Welshman? Reply: "Uhh well I don't know really uhh"
- Deta on Comms: “Fallon Sharock”. No Deta, its Sherrock.
- Fallon requires 170.Comms 'this would be some way to win the first leg'. Fallon scores 40.
- Deta: “Fallon looks OK”, said at the point she was averaging 51
- Fallon’s second leg of the match: 41, 41, 41, 41, 60, 41, 40. Loses leg with a leave of 130.
- Another scoring visit of 5
- Good to see Sherrock seems to be over her medical issues and has managed to shed the weight again. Except in the picture they're using for the on-screen graphics...
- Deta still banging on about the women being as good as the men.
- "Top quality darts" according to C4 comms. Both averaging low 70s.
- Deta talking about the way Fallon's darts "come across her face"
- Corrine required 25. Single 14 then single 17. Bust.
- Another cracker of a leg from Sherrock, starting 56,22, 55 and 41
- Deta: “I'd like to see a women do the 9 darter, me hopefully”.
- Rob Walker calling the Hammond/Fallon game “a game worthy of the final”
- Nicho says that Ross "showed the world that he is a world class player" at the Grand Slam.He beat Joe Murnan and that’s it.
- Waites showing how serious he takes darts: "for a week, darts is my priority"
- During all the walk-ons you can hear the commentators chuckling and coughing off mic
- Monty doing the air guitar during his entrance and generally acting like a tit, taking longer than Wright and Gurney combined to eventually stop.
- Rawling trying to drum up a bit of needle as Waites and Monty share a joke with each other pre-match.
- Monty begins with a scoring visit of 30
- Rawling describing what Waites was up against at the GSoD he won as "the very highest level", which included Wade having a mental breakdown
- Monty hits a 180 after being miles behind in the leg and goes ballistic.....Waites sat on 60 and cleans it up. T
- Waites takes out 133 after Monty missed 2 darts at D19 for a leg, to which Monty's reply is a wave of the hands under his chain.
- "Top quality darts from both men" says Walker after set 1. 94 v 87.
- BDO official FB page not deleting a little bit of casual racism to describe the Turkish player
- Camera picks out some bloke in the crowd who starts coughing.
- Vassos: "it's the ones he has missed that have hurt"
- Ross throwing at tops for the set, director cuts away before you see where the bloody thing even landed.
- Waites down to 429 after 6 darts
- Rawling and Vassos blatantly taking the piss out of the Harris Umit match. "What do you want me to say about it?" says Rawl.
- Monty bouncing around screaming his head off. Waites has put approximately 6 match darts in the wall.
- Monty wins a set to get the game back on throw. Changes his darts for reasons utterly unknown. Loses the next set 3-2 on his own throw and with it the game.
- “Thats it for the opening weekend” according to Rob Walker, despite 4 matches in the evening session to go.
- Coverage ends seconds after game shot
- Danny Crates refering to Fallon Sherrock as Sherron (he almost did it a second time too when talking with her family).
- Rows of empty seats for the evening session
- Vassos pre-game: "Jeffrey Sparidaans is the latest Dutch prodigy to make his Lakeside debut." O'Shea adds: "It might be his first visit to the Lakeside, but he's seen plenty of stage action and he's a top player, this young Jeffrey."
- 6 legs in, SPARIDAANS averaging under 70.
- Nillson on 77, Toplad suggesting he will go for 15s first.
- Sparidaans, throwing at tops to stay in the match to complete a 120 finish, nearly hits the "1" on the surround.
- Nilsson landing on 162 and Sparidaans on 166 in the same turn in set two...
- A Sharon Prins bounce-out has ended up in the lightbox below the board. Fun whilst they try and retrieve it
- Vassos: "Prins is 60 in front plus these" Prins throws a 60, scoreboard clicks over showing Prins and O'Brien level on 241.
- Telnekes' walk-on music doesn't start until he's partway to the stage and then it stops altogether.
- John Rawling claims Keith Deller won Lakeside in 1993.
- 23 darter to kick off the Telnekes match
- Landman blowing a 161 opportunity by dragging his dart at T17 into small single 2 and then managed to bust 80 by hitting single 20 followed by treble 20
- Rawling and Nicholson so bored with the game that they've talked about Ricky Evans, Kenny Neyens and Dimitri Van den Bergh in just the last few minutes, closely followed by Mark Webster, Robert Thornton and Simon Whitlock's management.
- Nicholson referring to "Anne Marie Potts" holder of the Lakeside Women's high checkout record.
- Interviewer claims Harms has lost in the first round 3 years running despite making the quarters two years ago.
- Nicholson said Derk is not the only Dutch player called Derk. He said there is a Derk van Duijvenbode. Except its Dirk, nor Derk...
- Warren mouthing "shit" twice after missing the bull for a 61 attempt.
- Wayne Warren’s daughter. Shrieking her way through the whole game.
Last edited by The Ginge Reaper on Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:35 am, edited 55 times in total.
Big changes on the way ! We've heard it before but it's different this time !!!! , I believe Bdo gonna grow x

Tony O'Shea, 6th January 2016

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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:48 am

Day Three

- Daily Star article effectively making the event out to be a massive piss-up, and claiming Martin Adams losing to McGeeney was a “shock” as Adams was the favourite. Which he wasn’t.
- Nico having a pop at Bristow at the start of the show: showed some footage of Deller beating Eric, Nicholson then commented on how great the footage was, and how much he enjoys seeing Bristow lose. Whole thing sails high over Rob's head
- Oompa Loompahs in the crowd, who get an interview. Asked who they were looking forward to seeing today, they picked Day, the only Englishman on the card
- Rob Walker told us that former four-time Lakeside participant David Cameron "is back for a second visit".
- Cameron wins his first leg of the game by breaking in a mere 24 darts. He follows this up in the next leg by starting with 45 and then 33. Remarkably, this proves enough to win the leg.
- Cameron wearing the Jacklin designed darts shirt, at least two sizes too big with the trademarked Brad Pitt picture on it
- mentions already for Cameron playing at the PDC World Series, the darts boom in Germany and the PDC having several events there, and 30% of tickets for Ally Pally being sold to the German market. Also a mention of Kevin Munch beating Adrian Lewis.
- Unterbuchner busts 81, by hitting a single 13 aiming for D6.
- "What a great performance so far by Unterbuchner" - Rob Walker. 2-2 with a bloke who's averaging 75.
- Deciding set, Cameron with a scoring visit of 28.
- Unterbuchner finished 60 by hitting tops and then double 10. “First time that he hit tops, when he wasn't aiming at it”, crows the commentator. 10/10 on T20 double misses.
- 176 left on his own throw, Cameron set up the finish by scoring 30, giving the German a match darts which luckily for him misses.
- "What a performance" says Walker. Some of the worst finishing ever witnessed.
- Nicholson claiming that Cameron "went up there with a fantastic Canadian attitude". Which is what, exactly?
- Casual references to Hopp and Schindler, in a discussion about Germans who apparently “may not have got to watch this live” despite it being on YouTube.
- Day saying that he has beaten some 'top' players. Quotes 'Arron Monk' as his best win.
- Nicho calls Day "a big cuddly teddy bear"
- Rob Walker claiming Craig Caldwell was still looking for his ‘maiden victory’ on the Lakeside stage... this is despite him beating Alan Soutar 3-1 in 2016.
- Comms already talking about jet lag and how it might make Caldwell play badly. Yeah that is the reason
- Random mention of John Henderson, yet another PDC player, in reference to the throwing action of Day
- "Caldwell is one of the biggest scorers when he gets going"
- PDC World Cup of Darts klaxon for Caldwell, from Vassos.
- The claim that 'Danny will be very well known around Romford, many will be claiming they have seen him play before'
- Caldwell's 2 attempts at tops, both halfway up the Winmau lettering. Now 2/17 on doubles.
- Rob Walker asking Nicholson to put Day’s performance in context of all the impressive Lakeside debuts. He averaged 86.24, Rob ffs.
- Day’s admittance on national TV that he went to the practice room at 8am and had a couple of beers.
- Nicholson: "the word legend is overused in sport, but Martin Phillips is a walking talking darting legend"
- Edwards with TWO consecutive scores of 26. He then follows this up with scores of 65, and then with 160 left, a 17.
- Edwards kicks off set 2 on his own throw with a 44 followed by 26. He chucks in a 44 two throws later for good measure.
- Edwards throws at T20 millimetres away from the 18. Twice
- Edwards opens up set 2 leg 4 with 25 followed by 49, and then chucking a 171 out of nowhere. Swiftly followed by a 41 and a 42.
- Noppert's "average would be a lot higher if he was hitting his doubles", says Vassos
- 2nd leg of third set, Edwards with consecutive scoring visits of 29 and 25
- 3rd leg of 3rd set, Edwards opens with a 28, which he scores later the same leg.
- 'Edwards has not brought his A game...other comms then states 'we have seen it in flashes''. He is averaging 72 at this point.
- Rob Walker again smirks that "We got the gist of it" after a foreign type's interview, Noppie this time.
- "We've had another very entertaining afternoon of darts" says Rob. This is despite the live matches finishing 90 minutes ahead of schedule.
- Nicho trying to mimic how Tony Green said 'Double 12!' for the Lim 9-darter, squeaky and bad
- Rob Walker claiming Geert De Vos and Derk Telnekes would be a playing for a place in the quarter finals.... it’s a first round match.
- James Richardson informing the viewers us that Baetens-Baker will be “a repeat of the Romanian Classic final"
- Venue half empty for an evening session, as well as for the afternoon before it (60% empty)
- 13th seed loses the first set with an 82 average. “It was fun”, according to comms.
- Vassos claiming both players missing doubles is “great”
- Lights inexplicably going off after Baetens hits a 180
- Baetens and Baker fist bumping each other to celebrate 180s
- 7 scored by Baetens when on 146 for a finish, who then miscounts to leave 7.
- Vassos getting incredibly giddy over the fact 15 legs have been played in half an hour. Mason says they are only playing like this because the local curry house closes at 10pm.
- Nine missed darts at double from Baetens to lose his throw.
- Baker throws at 16s with 80 left, hits the single to leave 64, then misses 14 and doesn't get a shot.
- Baker manages to bust D8 by hitting D16 to break Baetens' throw
- “Gulliver is one of the best players of all time”. Opening leg of hers is 42 81 45 55 81 87 70 40 GS
- Rawlings claims 163 is "the darting equivalent of a Prium number". That’s because it is one, as well as a bad pun
- Trina with scores of 30, 24 and 59 sandwiched between Prium scores of 11 and 42
- Needing 100, Prium hits 60, 5and 3 then opens the next leg with 30.
- Vassos pronouncing Vicky’s name as “Vicky Prime”. Constantly.
- The players trade scores in a leg of 48, 39, 60, 60 and 13. The 13 leaves Prium on 188 after 18 darts
- Darts being lost in the stage for the second time this evening (happened in Baetens/Baker game also
- Gulliver follows a 180 with a score of 9.
- Prium bows out with scores of 30, 43, 45 and 43 in the last leg
- Mason claiming Trinas 80 average was as well as he's seen her play.
- Reynolds all but calling the BDO a developmental circuit for the PDC without ever saying the letters PDC.
- Reynolds comes on stage with face covered in lipstick. Nobody bothers to tell him.
- Harris with game-starting scores of 26, 41, 43 and 58 before finally hitting a big treble. He starts Leg 2 with a 43
- Reynolds celebrating a scoring visit of 73.
- Comms discussing Reynolds not going to the PDC and without say it, insinuate the PDC is much better.
- The claim that Reynolds is "One of the best young players in the world"
- Reynolds opens set two with 29,60 and 61.
- Stodfish getting a mention from Nicholson, as if the casual viewer will know who that is
- "the dart must have slipped out of his hand because Harris doesn't chuck darts like that"
Nicho defending Harris, who is pure shit.
- Reynolds, one of the best young players in the world apparently, losing a set to a guy averaging in the 70s. “It’s a good game” claims Nicholson
- Nicholson: "Welsh darts is in a very very hot place right now. I would put Dean Reynolds in the same bracket as Gerwyn Price". Really????
- Rawling: "Darryl Fitton can score big”. Fitton's first visit: 55
- Thompson averaging 70.56 in the first set.
- Justin Thompson breaking Fitton with a 26-dart leg.
- Great cover shooting from Fitton while on 260. Hits two single 20s and goes down to 19s to leave...163.
- Big Thompson wins the 2nd set 3-0 in a crisp 57 darts. Fitton recording a set 2 average of 66.4.
- Thompson managing to bust an 85 by going 15, an unintentional T20 and then pulling the last dart miles into single 12
- Fitton with 46 left goes for 14 d16.. Hits double 14 then hasnt got a clue what to do, asks ref how many left then fucks it up anyway
- Fitton missing D20, D10 and D5 all inside by two widths of the double segment. Then sets up D1 in the next turn and pulls that inside on the first dart, too.
- Fitton, with 78 to stay in set 4, throws his first dart miles into big 1.
- Mason: “no point looking at averages as that 26 dart leg would have destroyed it"
- Fitton with a cool 0/17 on doubles in the two sets he lost, according to the graphic just now.
- BT Sport graphic claiming that Daniel Day is now a Kiwi.

Day Four

- Daniel Day and Daniel Nilsson getting the full country name in the order of play on the BDO website, whilst everyone else gets the abbreviation. Also, a German now becomes English.
- BDO website describing a Daniel Day 99 checkout as “jaw dropping”
- According to CH4 Programme Information, Aileen de Graaf is the reigning Champ. No she isn’t.
- According to Walker, Nilsson won his prelim on Saturday. Err, no
- It takes Nilsson five visits to finally hit a meaningful treble,by which point it is too late and he loses the throw in the first leg.
- Nillson with a scoring visit of FIVE (1, t1, 1)
- 9th seed loses first set from a position of 2-0 up with an average of 84.99
- Proudfoot with Williams up 2-0: "Nilsson is ranked 79 in the world, which gives you an idea of the gulf in class between these two." Nilsson proceeds to win the next three legs and the set.
- After scraping to a win in the first set, Williams kicks off the second with a 27.
- Nilsson midway into single 13 while aiming at double 4. Twice.
- Lady doing the interviews saying that "Lakeside wouldn't be the same without the fancy dress"
- The ladies bizzarely dressed as cleaners wanting Welshman Jim Williams to win ‘for England’.
- Reynolds, with 180 left, sets up the finish by scoring...21
- C4 giving out first 9 average stats to hide the abysmal overall quality of the game
- Nilsson throwing for the match begins 41,81,40,40, 59. Loses leg.
- Williams still barely averaging 80, wins two sets in a row.
- Nilsson has 6 darts at double to win one of the legs he lost in the fourth set, and then 7 in another. Lost the set. 18/91 on doubles between them. NINETY-ONE
- The claim that “Averages would be higher if they were hitting doubles.” Well duh.
- Needing 60 for the match as Williams steps up, comms saying single 20 will be the easy bit. Williams hits big 5. Then scrapes the 15. Nilsson then misses 3 at D8 to save it, the final of them off camera, landing in Double 11.
- 23/110 on doubles between them in the Nilsson/Williams match
- Rob Walker claiming Nilsson had “great scoring” in the match. He averaged 82.
- Williams bemoaning the fact there is only "one event a year"
- Veenstra needing 36 hits big one, then misses the board aiming for big 3.
- McKinstry gets 2 x 180 in a leg, and still loses it.
- Proudfoot yelled "Needs tops!" He was on 80 for 1-0, missed the tops but won the leg anyway
- First seven visits in a leg in the McKinstry match: 59 43 45 83 30 63 and 58
- O'Shea claiming this could 'be a game of three halves'
- Deta describes her quest to pick a winner in the Aileen-Jacklin match as "A catch 2 situation".
- Jacklin lands a dart in S18 in her first throw for absolutely no reason. Starts off 58, 41, 36 and 24.
- "Paula's opportunity....114". Wishful fekkin thinking! 58 scored.
- Aileen constantly licking her fingers
- Paulas 2 attempts to break in the first leg an inch above and below the double.
- "142, a big ask for Paula". She then scores 40.
- Swiftly followed up by Deta claiming "She is capable of taking out 102". She scores 50.
- Paula starts leg three by nearly hitting double top.
- Deta continuing to bang the “this should be best of 5 sets” drum
- "Class from De Graaf there" - 70 average. "Jacklin yet to settle" - 64 average
- Ref calls a 28 as 38, before correcting himself.
- Paula starts a leg off with 41 81 45 41 45 and 60.
- Paula's final dart at 60 ends up near the bull in the one segment.
- Deta’s constant sucking up to Paula and Lincolnshire on commentary.
- Paula’s second leg of 2nd set: 41 70 81 41 60 and 22
- End of match, Paula averages 62.23, didn’t win a leg and scores ONE score of over 100
- This doesn’t stop the BDO claiming on the website that she checked out TWO scores of over 100, despite not winning a leg
- Comms: "all the blokes down the Turks Head know how well Paula can go"
- De Graaf not remembering beating Trina last year18
- Nicho calling her "Alien"
- An embarrassing incident involving John Rawling claiming the segment sizes on PDC boards are more forgiving. A minute of silence, presumably as he is given a bollocking by someone off-mic, and he returns to issue an embarrassing backtrack.
- Needing 30 (after hitting T17), Telnekes confidently steps up and hits tops. He is the only one to celebrate, before finding out he bust his score of 81
- Start of Set 3 sees Telnekes and de Vos the players trade scores of 41 and 31.
- 120 scored with two darts from 214. Comms "18 would leave tops"
- Derk on 5. Hits D1, single 1, misses D1 outside. Next turn, misses outside, misses inside. Still wins the leg. 27-darter.
- "Like drawing teeth" says Rawling of that leg.
- "a really good performance from Telkenes" according to Comms. He averaged 81
- BDO FB page removing any criticism from their posts and banning people...constructive or otherwise.
- 'Oldest player' Paula Jacklin calls for darts pay equality in a BBC article
- Guy interviewing de Graaf:
"Could we have an all Dutch final maybe men's and ladies as well?" de Graaf: "I hope so, yeah”. There are no Dutchmen in the Durrant half.
- The flag and name graphic screen behind Daniel Day showing Martin Phillips' name and flag instead. This means he has now had THREE different nationalities in 24 hours.
- Day averaging 78.99 after 3 sets
- Phillips, with 60 left, totally misses the board
- Day, to hold to win set 3, throws 96, 41, 46, 42, 42 and 96 and loses the leg.
- Rawling talking about Day’s missed doubles: "7 out of 40, 23 missed doubles."
- Phillips-Day ends. Only 3 legs were won in as few as 5 visits, and they were three of the first four (all 15-darters).
- Anca with a scoring visit of SEVEN
- Zijlstra tries to split 10 remaining with single 2, hits 15.
- Zijstra busts 40 to stay in the match by hitting D15 instead of D10.
- Justin van Tergouw clearly shown downing pints in the Lakeside bar, in the evening, despite being 17 years of age
- Menzies dropping his darts on the walk-on.
- Menzies with scores of 26 and 24 in the first leg
- He soon follows this up with a scoring visit of EIGHT with 114 left (T1, 2, 3)
- In another leg, Menzies scores 95 in 9 darts
- Menzies takes the first set with an average of 81.
- Menzies throwing for the 2nd set and a 2-0 lead lobs in a scoring visit of 26. Loses leg and set.
- Whitehead starts the 3rd set off with a 60, 57, 60 and 60, and is broken straight away.
- Cameron Menzies chucking one dart into the board before asking if it was actually his turn to throw.
- Menzies weeping on stage
- O'Shea, saying how an Unterbuchner win here "would send darts in Germany through the roof" despite it not being televised there.
- Richard Armstrong is the MC apparently according to BT host James Richardson.
- Martin Adams in the crowd STILL wearing a shirt with sponsors on having been knocked out on day one.
- James Richardson having no clue what footage is up next on screen, saying a clip of Hughes' first leg 120 was the set winning 136 and needing Mason to repeatedly correct him
- Unterbuchner, throwing for the match on 75, pulls his 2nd dart into big 4.
- Hughes pulls his last dart at D4 into big 18.
- Yozza throwing at double 4 and being closer to the treble 18.............bust of course
- Camera zooms out to show empty table after empty table.
- Ridiculous camera work in the third set of the Hughes game
- Cameron throwing to stay in the match starts leg off with 60, 57 and 42 which loses him the leg and match.

Day Five

-at the conclusion of the Last 32, the highest match average belongs to Labanauskas, who the BDO actively disregarded at the top of the event as little more than a pushover for the angry farmer.
-8th seed (Menzies) confirms he's off to the PDC within a few hours of losing
- At the start of this afternoon's coverage, Rob and Nicholson are in the bar recapping last night's action and running down today's order of play. You can see both Andy Baetens and Mark McGeeney boozing in the background while they are practicing, this several hours before McGeeney's second round match is due to commence.
- flag graphics on the walk-on make the Belgians look like they're from Romania because the black stripe is so washed out on the monitor
- Comms more or less confirmethe Pauly vs Mitchell story. They said Mitchell was "miffed" and had some things to get off his chest backstage. They went on to say that Mitchell is a "proud England international"
- Players taking until the 5th leg of the Mitchell/Baetens match to be able to keep their throw. Only one hold in the first EIGHT legs
- According to Walker, Phillips has "quite some record at the Lakeshite", by which he meant that Phillips has survived his first-round match 8 out of 15 times.
- C4 programme info declaring McGeeney as the “tournament favourite”, when he isn’t.
- Rawling: ''180 Mitchell needs'' whilst he's on 180.
- Youtube stream goes to Break mode halfway through leg 3 of Set 6, stays at least a few throws.
- Andy you require 126....... gets single 7. Andy you require 121....... gets 60 then single 8
- Baetens in the deciding leg of the 6th set, with a chance to hit 141 to break and win the game, hits a score of 26
- Baetens acknowledging the unmissable bullseye in the last leg - with 95 and two darts in hand, tries to shoot T15-Bull rather than T19-D19.
- After Baetens had defeated Mitchell, Rob Walker is talking to Nicholson and telling him how both players would have wanted that to go to a final set. Enlighten me on why Baetens would've wanted that to go to a final set Rob?
- Andy Baetens looking to shake Danny Crates right hand after the post match interview, only to realise there wasn't one to shake
- Rob Walker smoothly calls Deta "[loud voice:] A MULTIPLE [quiet voice:] Runner-up"
- Walker: “Sharon Pirins”. Who?
- Another gratuitous mention of the PDC as the cameras pick out Dean Winstanley, Rawling talks about how he is trying to win his “players card” back.
- "Wright is averaging 78,which isn't bad"
- Comms wanting Jeff Smith back
- Nicholson: "The ladies' game gets better every year"
- Still using the erm fullface pic of Fallon
- Nicho calls Robbo "a great, great player" who should have won Lakeshite.
- "Hiya Paul(?), how are we!" Vassos there off mic as Little Dicky is announcing the Noppy walk-on
- McGeeney hits 180. Overly excited Vassos ‘wahey more of the same please, this is going to be excellent isn’t it Paul?’ Noppert hits 1... and then another 1 with his first two darts of the game
- Noppie apologizing to McGeeney for winning the first leg.
- Tony O'Shea given the high checkout prize by comms, despite now even qualifying for the event
- Nicholson: "Wayne Warren is a proper player... a great, great player"
- Nicho with a random memory of MVG hitting 2 170s in the same match. Vassos now keeps on and on about MVG's famous string of perfect darts.
- Comms happily discussing mvg and lims near 9 darter at ally pally having forgotten about the current game.
- Noppert in a must win leg scores 43 from 161 then misses big 18 to set up double next visit
- Nopp hits 43 to leave 118. Next shot on 118, needs 18 to leave Tops, hits a single 4. McGeeney then hits 16 aiming at 7 to leave 32.
- McGeeney throwing for the match lobbs in scores to start the leg of 60 and 40. Noppert in reply starts off 58, 57 and 47.
- "McGeeney was absolutely superb there.".92 average.
- Walker describes McGeeney as “Englands Gladiator”. Eh?
- "We are going to pick this one up in the very last leg of the match". Baetens wins this leg then. Rob not doing much for the dramatic effect of this Baetens-Mitchell re-run
- Nicholson: "I love watching Scott Mitchell play"
- James Richardson mistakenly calling McGeeney "Gary”. And then calls Harms "Wesley Harris", followed by an over-dramatic montage of Wayne Warren's 7 perfect darts.
- Mandigers busting a 5 checkout by hitting T20.
- Ref calls 89 instead of 94 and straight after Warren misses a big number, then straight after again Mandingers misses a big number.
- Vassos Alexander making a complete hash of a gag about Dutchmen putting their 50 cents on Mandiger
- Camera switches to three girls in a completely empty section of the arena
- Throwing for the 4th set, Warren starts the leg off with a 29, followed by a 43 two throws later
- With 93 left, and Warren sat on a double, Mandigers has to hit the 93 to break back to make it 2-2. So he lobs in a score of 31 to get nowhere near even a shot at bull.
- "Man diggers", according to Mason. Quite certain you don't pronounce it like that.
- Warren visibly mouthing "motherfucker" after missing bull for a 95 finish.
- Mandigers busting 10 by going 5, 3 and D20 and then busts it again with 5 and 17. Warren wins it in 25 darts.
- Throwing for the match for the second time, Warren yet again throws a turd to start: 41 this time, followed up by a 43 for good measure two throws later
- C4 Twitter declaring the next game is on Channel 4, despite being posted straight after the first BT Sport game.
Nicholson - "thats quite a prestigious group Barneveld, Bristow and Adams. Add Durrant to it and it becomes an elite group"
- Comms openly discussing the defending champion fucking off.
- After set 1 Fitton averaging 67
- More Tony O'Shea wistfulness by the commentating duo.
- Nicho bringing up Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.
- Durrant chucks in a scoring visit of 38 but still wins the leg as Fitton is useless.
- Nicholson inviting the audience at the end of an anecdote to "just ask Jocky Wilson", who is currently dead.
- 6-1 down in legs (2-0 sets), Fitton suddenly decides to chuck in an 11-dart leg break of throw. However he concedes this back in the very next leg.
- Fitton's dart at T20 for a 121 finish slips out of his hand and ends up in single 1, nearer to single 18. Ends up scoring 34. Loses leg.
- Fitton steps up with 181 left and with a guaranteed 6 darts to win the set. Kicks off with a 44. Loses set.
- BT Sport scrollbar at the bottom displaying: "180s: Durrant 8 Durrant 5"
- Rawling: "Scott Waites goes ahead for the first time in the match... apart from the first leg of course."
- Reynolds fails to check 94 in six darts to take the set after throwing a 171.
Last edited by The Ginge Reaper on Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:36 am, edited 13 times in total.
Big changes on the way ! We've heard it before but it's different this time !!!! , I believe Bdo gonna grow x

Tony O'Shea, 6th January 2016

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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:48 am

Day Six

- Last year's runner-up Noppert joins the 8th seed in announcing he's off to the PDC hours after exiting the tournament
- Cameras picking up Harms getting his coat searched by a geriatric bdo official in players bar
- 17 year old kid beats the average of most of the players in the main draw.
-Van Tergouw needing 160, hits two T20s and the camera shot starts to zoom in on the treble.
- Rob saying JvT is "surely a future senior world champion", an interesting choice of words.
- Comms not knowing what the royal mail is called.
- Deta you require 76....single 20 single 5 single 3
- Needing 44, Deta throws a single 9 (aiming for 12), then a 3, and then at tops despite having 32 left.
- Deta somehow wins the first set averaging 75.
- Prins takes out 138..... her first ever 100+ checkout here.
- Rawling goes into a ramble about the best womens checkout of 152..... which was 3 years ago and also NOT the highest as Potts his a 160 once.
- Deta wins despite not being able to hit anything she aimed for. The winning leg was the only hold of throw in the match
- Rob Waker describing the Deta game as a "funny old match”. No Rob, it was shit.
- Deta refers to "Sharrock" yet again.
- Nicholson calling for more money in the ladies game
- Nicholson referring to averages there.....26 per dart being good
- Conan Whitehead: “"I'm a big cuddly bear, just don't get on the wrong side of me"
- Vassos: "Conan wants to go as far as he possibly can, and he certainly can"
- Rawling describing Whitehead as the “WDO ranked number 19”
- Whitehead near the middle of big 1 while aiming at tops.
- Nicho suggesting you need to be up near a 110 average "to win big events like this".
- comms forgetting about the game to play a Sherlock Holmes name association game.
- Whitehead takes the first set averaging 7 points lower than the youth winner earlier.
- Nicho with a shout-out to "Steve Douglas, the left-hander"
- Jim Williams on 5. Throws at single 1, nearly hits the double. Throws at double 2, as near the treble as the double. 27-darter to hold.
- Rawling: "has the look of a game that could go long, this one"
- Whitehead wanting 79 goes 19 and then hits treble 20 bang in the middle.
- Rawling: "The checkouts were pretty awful earlier, they're improving now”. Both 29%.
- Size of the trebles described as the size of barn doors
- Williams fails to get a dart at double from 80. Leaves 54 after his first throw, and then on his second only leaves one dart at a double, which he misses.
- Wills-Whitehead between them were 31/121 on doubles.
- After the youth final, Nicholson claimed that JvT "has just proved he is the best player under 21 in the world", apparently forgetting that the age cutoff here is 18.
- Walker: “"Come On Eileen booming out for De Graaf but the crowd will be hoping the golden girl can shine once again"
- Trina with a scoring visit of 9.
- De Graaf with a scoring visit of 9, closely followed up by one of 12
- Sherrock gets to a finish on her own throw after 21 darts.
- Ashton, needing 107 for the leg, hits T1 with her first two visits.
- Sherrock manages to hit the outside edge of the board when going for D10.
- Neither Ashton or Sherrock can muster a 70 average
- Ref miscounts when Ashton hits T20, 7 and T14 and calls "119" before correcting it. Ashton then manages to bust 32 by hitting D7 and then D12.
- On 32 Ashton hits D7 and D14 to bust.
- Ashton wins 2-0, averaging less than a 15 year old child earlier that day.
- Y Viva Espana warming up the crowd
- Nicho: "Martin Phillips is one of the most watchable players in history"
- Philips below 77 in the first set
- Final leg of the first set, Phillips' 7 visits to the board: 60 28 41 60 60 60 58
- Nicho bigging up how much everyone loves the Isle of Man event. When asked if it was held in Douglas he has no idea.
- 12 leg of the game and Phillips averaging 78
- Nicho: “Phillips has given his life to darts”. Erm no, he is a binman.
- Nicho claiming that when Richie Burnett won his "world championship" he was the best player in the world. Isnt that the point?
- Phillips wins a set. Still averaging under 80
- Nicho tries to start an "answers on a postcard" campaign to find a nickname for the German.
- 79 v 88 is a good game according to Mason.
- The woeful Anastasia-Lorraine pre-match segment.
- Lorraine with a scoring visit of 13, currently averaging 68
- Tony Martin being referred to as "a successful darts player" by Chris Mason
- Lorraine misses big 20 to stay in the competition.
- Neither Mason nor Richardson know whether Geert de Vos has been past round 2... despite reaching the quarter-finals last year.
- Veenstra down to 12 after 12 darts. Takes another 12 to clear 12.
- Veens takes the first set 3-0. Both averaging 75 in possibly one of the worst sets ever televised
- De Vos able to hit T20 and T17 in a 151 attempt, yet pulls the third dart a mile into single 1.
- From 184, de Vos leaves 164
- The commentary duo already totally bored, talking about the Dutch players' eurotrash walk-on songs. Dirk van Duijvenbode makes a cameo.
- Halfway (optimistic) through leg 7, Geert is averaging 73.86.
- Veenstra has 2 darts at D4, both of which are nearer the number 4 than the double bed.
- Geert with scoring visits of 10 and 15 in the third set.
- Vos starts a leg 15, 23.
- Three sets in de Vos still averaging 74
- Both De Vos and Veenstra born aged 27 according to the pre-match graphic, despite both born in 1981 according to Wiki.
- 77 average for De Vos, Comms claiming Veenstra was magnificent.
- A 17 year old records the highest average on day 6. Only 4 of the 16 who played record an average higher than 90.
- Under the write-up of the Dobromyslova/Winstanley game on the BDO website, inexplicably there are photos of Jim Williams and Conan Whitehead who had played in the afternoon session

Day Seven

- Baetens describes Mitchell as one of the greatest players in the world.
- The Benny Hill inspired Baetens crazy golf skit.
- Waites in the middle of big 16 throwing at d8.
- The continued excuse trotted out by the comms for some of the poor performances of "all the BDO players work 40+ hours weeks and that's why they aren't as good as the PDC ones"
- Nicholson: 'What a play Erik Clarys was'
- Nicholson: 'Baetens doubling has been ok' . Was around 30% when he said this.
- Man of Yorkshire klaxon
- 75 left, Waites hits 23, doesnt get a shot at a double to hold, luckily doesnt lose match as Baetens cant clear up 20.
- Baetens losing 504 after having a 401 lead
- The commentary get excited when Baetens misses doubles and are overjoyed by Waites hitting them, you cant half tell whose side they are on
- John Rawling exploding in a shower of cum when Waites won, glad that the stinking dirty foreigner lost no doubt.
- Deta commentating on a match a few hours before a major televised semi final.
- No handshake between Ana and Trina. Deta suggests that maybe they just forgot. Sure.
- Needing 60 with two darts in hand Ana lands bang in the middle of big one.
- weirdo camera work, wibbling about showing the floor.
- Comms: "Trina was looking a bit ginger when she bent over"
- PDC mention klaxon from Rawling: "The Mensur Suljovic!", as Ana takes d14 for the set.
- Trina going for treble 20 hits a 12
- She later lands near D2 aiming for T17
- Deta: "I like travelling to different countries, especially ones that are not on the map"
- "one of the all-time comebacks" by Waites according to Rob
- Nicholson: "He's got a few different things in his head I think”. Nicho flat out drops the PDC bomb.
- “BDR darts”, according to the interviewer
- Comms saying Duzza has only lost three times at Lakeside. Not mentioning this is his fifth year.
- The entire shambles of the "Is Glen Durrant going to Q-School" scenario.
- Mason promised us a pulsating women's semi final.
- 90+ averages being shown at the start of the third leg - Hedman and Ashton proceed to throw a 20-darter.
- Hedman has a dart at double 5 that ends up about half an inch above double 20.
- In the next leg her dart at d12 vanishes from site after Ashton went out the board going for tops last dart in hand needing 80.
- Vassos: “You can still get an overnight train from Munich to Rome”. Random.
- Twice in the match Unterbuchner busts 40 by going 20 D15
- Comms getting excited about a potential 9 dart finish. 7th dart bang in the middle of t1.
- The abysmal Mark McGeeney pre-match interview video. "Commander of the BDO World Ranking"
- Warrens opening throw in the quarter final..... 22
- Wayne Warren, needing 85, hits single 15 close to the treble bed and thinks he's hit T15 so goes for tops, missing both attempts by miles.
- Warren misses big 16 when on a 76 finish, with McGeeney missing big 19 for a 155 attempt. Nicho blames the heat for both misses.
- "world number one" averaging 88.
- Warren takes out 60 going d20 d10. Pretty sure that’s not what he was going for
- Nicho quoting Austin Powers and Wayne's World in the same sentence.
- Deciding leg of Set 6, on his own throw, McGeeney lobs in a score of 24 yet still wins the set.
- "He's a showman"- Nicho on Mcgeeney.
- McGeeney, attempting tops tops for a 100, misses the board with the first dart and decides to aim for tops again with the final dart. He misses... again.
- Nicholson attempting to imitate a girls voice
- Warren manages to pull a shot at big 20 on a Shanghai attempt for the match into D1.
- A 93 average over 8 sets is "very good" according to Nicho.
- McGeeney lining up the bottles to get smashed in the background of Wayne Warren's interview. Warren then completely ignoring the presence of Scotty and Unterbuchner by saying McGeeney will play Duzza in the final.

Day Eight

- The monologue at the start of the coverage
- Nicho has been” tossing and turning” think about the women's final.
- Scotty swigging a bottle of beer down at the bar an hour before his match while Nicco is talking about the Women's final.
- After 9 darts of a best of 5 sets womens final, Vassos boldly states that we are about to crown a 4 time champion .
- Camera zooms in on Ashtons arse rather than the target. Rawling says "there's nothing we could do about that"
- Vassos,” Ana's checkout percentage is 1 out of 1”
- On a 10 finish and coming inside D5, Ashton's dart for single 1 goes in T20.
- Ashton hits 60 aiming for big 1.
- Rawling: “Anastasia gave Ashton no chance in the first set,though she did miss five doubles.”
- Anastasia drags a dart at D4 into D13.
- Woman wins the Womens final with a better average than half the men playing in the mens semi finals.
- Comms acknowledging the final will be a walkover.
- Nicho looking at the wrong score and thinking Durrant needed bull when he was nowhere near.
- Nicho also saying Durrant needed 60 for d15 on 143.
- 'Waites survived five match darts yesterday'.....................Nicho replies 'definitely more than a handful'
- Vassos refers to the PDC Worlds as "the other World Darts Championship"
- Vassos and Nicho ramble on about Neighbours upon seeing theme song composer Tony Hatch in the crowd. Nicho said something along the lines of "Do you know why it's called Erinsborough? Because it's an anagram of 'Neighbours’. Other commentator agreed, despite it being 2 letters longer.
- Wolfie in the crowd still wearing his shirt over a week since being knocked out
- Nicho mentioning the fact the semifinalists don't have to play for a year because they're already qualified for the 2019 "Worlds".
- Comms saying how the legend of the game that they just interviewed went out in the first round, and proclaiming how he has been on the lash for the last 8 days.
- Nicholson claiming that the "best players in the world" don't care about their averages and other stats while they play nor when they're told afterwards.
- Averages don't matter, because they are poor, then Nicho goes on about how high Durrants was yesterday.
- Waites needing 76 goes bang in t1, leaves no shot, and fucks another set away.
- Nicho claiming all the practice boards had "Antony Dundas is a legend" scrawled on them.
- Nicho saying Waites can, and cannot afford to miss doubles in one sentence.
- A fat guy in a Kim Jong-Un mask being presented on TV by Rob Walker.
- Tony saying Waites hasn't done much wrong. He's missed 75%of darts at double.
- O'Shea says "Durrant is so relaxed he hasnt put his darts shirt on yet" Whats he wearing then??
- Rawling now referring to the PDC as "the other side" when asked if he's called in a 9 darter.
- Waites in post match interview saying “No way that was a 6-1 I could have won it 6-1”. Think he is forgetting it was 6-2.
- Comms having gone on about how pros don't worry about averages. Durrant walks in: "what was my average"
- Nicho claiming the Dutch Open is "one of the biggest events of the entire darting calendar"
- Rob Walker then claiming that Mark McGeeney is the one all neutrals want to win against FOREIGN LAD.
- BDO FB going on about “cracking fancy dress”, at an evebt that apparently doesn’t do fancy dress.
- Unterbuchner starts with a visit of 11 to hold in the deciding leg of set 1. He loses the set.
- Cameraman misses second dart of Unterbuchner's attempt at a 5 finish.
- Only 2 of the first 17 legs won in as few as 5 visits, both in the first set.
- Unty rattles off two straight sets against the World Number One with legs of 16, 18, 18, 21, 17, 17.
- Mcgeeney hits single 1 aiming at tops.
- well in to the fifth set and the world number one yet to hit a max
- McGeeney starts the third leg of set five with 30
- Rawling: "Crowd not enthralled at the moment". Many with heads down on phones.
- “He's the world number one for a reason”. Course he is Tony, reason is you lot ignore the likes of MvG
- Someone in the pissed up crowd celebrating Unterbuchner only scoring 99.
- Unterbuchner needs 100 to stay in the match. His first dart gets pulled into single 1. McGeeney wins the leg and the match.
- Using the excuse of an alcohol firm sponsoring the event (how much do Holsten put in then?) means JvT can't get a share of the top checkout prize. Suggestions he should get "sports vouchers" instead.
- BDO issuing a late night public Tweet to Geronimo Darts asking him to stop streaming. “We reserve all rights or remedies”. Scary!

Day Nine

- Yet again clashing the final with a major PL football match. BDO issue a Tweet suggesting the clash is the other way round.
- No BBC live text updates of the semis and the final, unlike during Ally Pally. The last BBC darts article is about Ashton winning the womens cup, no news of the men's final whatsoever.
- Duzza bending over for McGeeney in the BT pre-match video, saying he would be the one person that he would want to beat him in a major tournament final.
- James Richardson: "A first final for Mark McGeeney, a second for Glen Durrant, but Reshmin's talking to a man who's won three of them”. Cut to Reshmin interviewing Top Lad, who has won none.
- Walker NOT falling into the Richardson error of calling Tony O'Shea a three time champion, but McGeeney clearly in the background of the bar interview with Seema swigging a beer.
- BDO Facebook page completely ignoring BT Sport and also picturing McGeeney like he's just come in to get pissed.
- 89.64 tournament average for Mcgeeney flashed on screen.
- "He's BDO number 1 for a reason" yet again, this time uttered by Durrant.
- BDO themselves tweeting a picture of the remarkably shit engraving job on the men's trophy.
- Graphics bringing up match and tournament averages after ONE VISIT TO THE BOARD.
- Commentators talking about Corey Cadby going to Q-School.
- Nicholson suggesting that because these guys play lots of mickey mouse best of 5 legs games all year on the circuit, they're uniquely qualified to deal with the pressure of being 2-2 in set play.
- BDO #1 averaging 87.51 after the first set. Reigning champion not much better at 92.35.
- Commentators going gaga over the fact that McGeeney actually won the set he started.
- Rawlings claiming Durrant used to be a good footballer. When asked what position he played, he has no idea.
- John Rawling yet again rambling on about Duzza going to Q-School.
- Nicho now going on about the NFL.
- After Duzza hits 49 comms says the scoring power is with him
- Nicholson: "More often than not Durrant will hit 2 big trebles”. Straight after he scores this, he scores 44.
- Durrant losing two sets to a mug averaging 89.
- McGeeney clowning about when returning to the stage.
- Comms managing to figure out that someone with a Metallica tattoo might just be a fan of metal
- Nicho attempting to be that guy off Big Brother by saying "It's day 9 in the Lakeside house"
- Duzza manages to bust 8 by pulling his last dart into big 13.
- commentary suggesting that McGeeney's defining characteristic is that he plays fearlessly, except in games where he's the favourite.
- Comms: "Durrant loves to talk about his ambition"
- Durrant can't check 24 in 9 darts
- Durrant celebrated hitting the double one only to then realise had missed it when walking up to retrieve his darts
- McGeeney needs 205....hits 40 and dont leave a finish
- Microphone breaks before the start of the 7th set and a wasp invades the stage
- Bizarre close up of some old girl yawning
- McGeeney pulls his second dart at tops for a 3-0 win in set 7 into big 1. He is then put off by someone clapping in the crowd.
- McGeeney wins his fourth set against the "World pro" champion averaging 89.
- McGeeney "might go tops tops" to finish 80 according to comms. Proceeds to go 1, 13, 10, with the 1 being slap bang in the middle of the 1 segment.
- "Can mcgeeney carry on producing the best darts of his life"? 88 average.
- McGeeney throws a 22 in the second visit of the 9th set's first leg.
- McGeeney slams in 157 to take the first set of leg 10 against the throw. His next visit is 46.
- Durrant scores 28 just as comms describe him as a “classy player” after hitting 1 180 the turn before
- O'Shea claiming Glen was guaranteed six darts at tops as Mark was on 176 coming to the board.
- The "Duzza shuffle".
- The BDO #1 averaging 87 (EIGHTY-SEVEN) after TEN sets.
- McGeeney pulls his first dart at an 80 attempt to win set 11 into T5. Still wins the set.
- Start of Set 12 on his own throw, Durrant scores 38.
- McGeeney with a scoring visit of 21
- Mcgeeney waving to the crowd after 5 perfect darts
- O'Shea - "thats the first time Ive seen Glen rattled”, after he's been chewing his flights for 4 sets.
- Camera comedy zoom on a 170 attempt so we missed the 2nd dart entirely
- Mcgeeney punishing a 60 with a 41
- Vassos thinking 110 can't be done with 2 darts.
- McGeeney in a must-win leg starts with scores of 45, 43, and 50, and another 43 two visits later, too. Scored a total of 281 points in five visits.
- McGeeney winning 6 sets, and having 2 match darts, despite being utter crap, averaging 86
- Losing finalists finishes the event with a tournament average of 88.99
- Reshmin saying it was the final everyone wanted by there being two Englishmen in it.
- McGeeney doing a Taylor by saying Durrant should smile after winning the title.
- Nicho then saying McGeeney will be a Lakeside winner.
- The presentation cheque for McGeeney having the wrong date on it, only out by a full year
- BT Sport showing how much they love the BDO by scheduling the highlights show for Thursday 25th January, conveniently the day before the Unibet Masters
- 2 hours after the victory and it's only the 11th story down on the BBC Sport mobile page.
- Post-match Youtube interview on the BDO YT page has Durrant down as winning by two different scorelines (7-5 and 6-5), both of which are wrong as it was 7-6.
- After a week of bigging the German up, Mason issues a Tweet after the even has finished effectively saying he is useless and Hearn wanted Germans who average 108 and not 88.


Post Tournament

- Hughes and Fitton confirming they are off to Q School.
- Durrant effectively begging to Channel 4 and BT Sport to stick with the event next year during the Champions Dinner

Current Howler Count - 681
Last edited by The Ginge Reaper on Wed Jan 17, 2018 2:54 pm, edited 18 times in total.
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:55 am

Initial ones added. If you can think of any more that have happened recently, let me know.
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by cannibal » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:29 am

What about BDO sending out player contracts twice?
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:31 am

cannibal wrote:What about BDO sending out player contracts twice?
Good call.
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by cannibal » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:55 am

Two historical items that need checking on when the doors open at the palace of piss.
1. The burger and chip combo price vs buying them separate.
2. Can't wait for the shots of the men coming out of the restroom right behind the interviewers. Nothing says working class sport like a line of men coming out of the restroom one after the other, adjusting their pants and shit eating grins on their faces.
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:09 am

Can take a look at those nearer the time.

Hi Rich :)
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by Mabbsy » Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:08 pm

Once again claiming on their ''website'' that this thing is the ''World Professional Darts Championship''.

It clearly is not and has not been for many years.

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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by Wolflanternbumbag » Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:27 pm

Mabbsy wrote:Once again claiming on their ''website'' that this thing is the ''World Professional Darts Championship''.

It clearly is not and has not been for many years.
How many more years can it actually run for.. Bullseye was eventually canned.
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:35 pm

Wolflanternbumbag wrote:
Mabbsy wrote:Once again claiming on their ''website'' that this thing is the ''World Professional Darts Championship''.

It clearly is not and has not been for many years.
How many more years can it actually run for.. Bullseye was eventually canned.
Yes but they brought it back. So if lakeside goes it will come back in about 10 years, ran by Dave Spikey.
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by Wolflanternbumbag » Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:39 pm

The Ginge Reaper wrote:
Wolflanternbumbag wrote:
Mabbsy wrote:Once again claiming on their ''website'' that this thing is the ''World Professional Darts Championship''.

It clearly is not and has not been for many years.
How many more years can it actually run for.. Bullseye was eventually canned.
Yes but they brought it back. So if Lakeshite goes it will come back in about 10 years, ran by Dave Spikey.
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by Dazzla501 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:11 pm

I’m putting out there now that there will be Turkish Open flyers/posters in the crowd and possible some being shown by players in the walk ons

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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by Wolflanternbumbag » Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:45 pm

It's one big howler sadly these days..
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by Rogg » Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:14 pm

Fabulous.

Still no sign of the prize fund either, with about 4 weeks to go.
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by The Thorn » Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:32 pm

Rogg wrote:Fabulous.

Still no sign of the prize fund either, with about 4 weeks to go.
Was the prize fund even announced last year? I remember them being quite secretive about it.
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by The Ginge Reaper » Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:33 pm

The Thorn wrote:
Rogg wrote:Fabulous.

Still no sign of the prize fund either, with about 4 weeks to go.
Was the prize fund even announced last year? I remember them being quite secretive about it.
It was, it was the WDT fund that got no public acknowledgment whatsoever. Didnt even say what the winner got in the presentation at the end.

Only evidence was a leaked letter which yours truly got :D
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by Stran » Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:05 pm

threat of the year by far earlier in the year
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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by Zeyes » Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:13 pm

And nearly 24 hours later, still no sign of the drawn matches in text form on the BDO site, only the video clips.

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Re: Behold! The 2018 Lakeshite Howlers Thread!

Post by Rogg » Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:15 pm

The prize for a 9-darter was dropped in 2017.

Which emphatically did not count as a cut to the prize fund, despite its having been emphatically counted as part of the prize fund the year before.

I forget who treated us to that... that.
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