darts top of the pops

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Randall
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Tue Jan 05, 2021 3:17 pm

I Am the jobber
The Beatles/bdo


I am shit as you are shit
And we are all shit together
See how they run as bo takes it up the bum
See how they fly
she's crying

Sitting on a park bench
Waiting for the coach to come
andy fordham T-shirt, stupid bloody Tosser
Man you've been a naughty boy
You let your gut grow long
I am the jober man
They are the jobber men
I am the jobber

job job g'job

Mister City jobber sitting
Pretty little munter in a row
See how they fly like paula in the sky, see how they bum
shes crying, shes crying
shes crying, shes crying
Yellow munter custard
Dripping from a dead jobbers eye
Crabalocker fishwife, horrific priestess
Bo, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
I am the jobber man
They are the jobber men
I am the jobber
job job g'job

Sitting in an turkish garden
Waiting for the bum
If the bum don't come you get a bum
From bumming in the English rain
I am the job man
They are the jobbermen a poor man, made tame as des blows
I am the jobber
joo joo g'job, joo joo joo g'job

Expert, texpert choking jobbers
Don't you think the pdc laughs at you
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide
shes crying

maria o brien
stinking up the Eiffel tower
creeppy tony eccles raping small children
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edward alan hankey
I am the job man
They are the joberb men
I am the jobber
joo joo g'job, joo joo joo g'job
oo joo g'job, joo joo joo g'job, joo
Joob, joob, jooba
Jooba, jooba, jooba
Joob, jooba
Joob, jooba
jobba
jobba
jobba
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Tue Jan 05, 2021 4:10 pm

Under Pressure
Queen, David Bowie
micheal smith



Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you, no man ask for
Under pressure that cuts a double down
Splits an average in two
Puts chokers on streets


It's the terror of knowing what the score is about
Watching some good friends screaming
"check this out!"
Pray tomorrow gets my average higher
Pressure on chokers, chokers on streets

jobbing around, kick my toys around the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours
choker on streets

It's the terror of knowing what the score is about
Watching gerwyn price screaming
'goooooon ive checked it out'

Pray tomorrow gets my ranking, high
Pressure on chokers, chokers on streets
Threw darts like a blind man
say "how is he beating me" but it don't work
Keep coming up short if its not in shanghai
Why, why, why?
choke,choke,choke

Insanity laughs under pressure im choking
Can't i give myself one more chance?
Why can't i give myself that one more chance?
Why can't we not give lowe, not give lowe, not give lowe, not give lowe
not Give lowe, not give lowe,not give lowe,not give lowe,not give lowe?
'Cause lowe's such an old fashioned word
And lowe dares to beat me

The people on the edge of the night
And lowe (people on streets) dares to put me out
not Caring about me
This is my last chance
This is my last chance
This is me under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Tue Jan 05, 2021 4:26 pm

We Will mock You
Queen/stephen bunting

Bunty, you're a boy, make a big noise
Playing in the bdo, gonna be a big man someday
You got rout on your case, the big disgrace
inflating your ranking all over the place, singin'
We will, we will mock you
We will, we will mock you

Bunty, you're a fat man, soft man
Shouting in the street, gonna take on the pdc someday
You got rout your case, the big disgrace
inflating your ranking all over the place
We will, we will mock you, sing it!
We will, we will mock you, yeah

Bunty, you're an old man, poor man
Pleading with your eyes, gonna get you some titles someday
everybody put you back into your place, do it!
We will, we will mock you, yeah, yeah, come on
We will, we will mock you, alright, louder!
We will, we will mock you, one more time
We will, we will mock you
Yeah
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Tue Jan 05, 2021 4:47 pm

The Winner Takes It All
ABBA/micheal smith

I don't wanna talk
About games ive gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history

I've played all my darts
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more darts to play
The loser gets fuck all

so im standing small
Beside the victory
That's my destiny

I was up arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
building me some hope
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing darts by the rules
The gods may throw a dart
my mind is in the cart
And me way down here
Loses something dear

The loser takes fuck all (Takes fuck all)
The loser has to fall (Has to fall)
It's simple and it's plain (It's so plain)
I complain (i complain)

But tell me does he miss
Like I used to miss you
Does it feel the same
When they laugh at your titles name
Somewhere deep inside
you must know i hate you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

russ bray will decide (Will decide)
The likes of me abide (Me abide)
Spectators of the show (Of the show)
darts always staying low (Staying low)

The game is on again (On again)
A choker or a friend (Or a friend)
A big thing or a small (Big or small)
The loser takes fuck all (Takes fuck all)

I don't wanna talk
cos it makes me feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see

The loser takes fuck all
The loser takes fuck all
So the winner takes it all
And the loser has to fall

Throw the dart, mind in the cart
Way down here, something dear
Takes it all, has to fall
And it's plain, I complain (how is he beating me?)
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Wolflanternbumbag » Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:53 pm

Randall wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 2:50 pm We've Only Just Begun
randall and corinne


We've only just begun to live
White lace panties
A kiss a fuck and we're on our way
(We've only begun)
Before the risin' sun, we fly
So many breads to choose
We'll start out grilling and toasting buns
(And yes, we've just begun)
Sharing horizons that are new to us
squinting at the signs along the way
Talkin' it over, just the two of us
Wankin together day to day
Together
And when the evening comes, we sleep
So much of life behind
We'll find a place where there's room to lay
(And yes, we've just begun)
Sharing horizons that are new to us
squinting at the signs along the way
Talkin' it over, just the two of us
Wankin' together day to day
Together
Together
And when the evening comes, im blind
So much of life behind
We'll find a place where there's room to sleep
And yes, we've just begun
That’s one of Corrine’s cunt hairs away from a restraining order
YORKSHIRE GRIT

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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Wolflanternbumbag » Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:53 pm

Randall wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 2:50 pm We've Only Just Begun
randall and corinne


We've only just begun to live
White lace panties
A kiss a fuck and we're on our way
(We've only begun)
Before the risin' sun, we fly
So many breads to choose
We'll start out grilling and toasting buns
(And yes, we've just begun)
Sharing horizons that are new to us
squinting at the signs along the way
Talkin' it over, just the two of us
Wankin together day to day
Together
And when the evening comes, we sleep
So much of life behind
We'll find a place where there's room to lay
(And yes, we've just begun)
Sharing horizons that are new to us
squinting at the signs along the way
Talkin' it over, just the two of us
Wankin' together day to day
Together
Together
And when the evening comes, im blind
So much of life behind
We'll find a place where there's room to sleep
And yes, we've just begun
That’s one of Corrine’s cunt hairs away from a restraining order
YORKSHIRE GRIT

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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by HalloweenJack » Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:54 pm

A couple of John Lennon classics in there.
Here’s a challenge for Randall, can you do a parody of “I want to hold your hand” ?
‘Captain Bazball’

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Randall
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:55 pm

I'll have a go tomorrow
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Wed Jan 06, 2021 12:31 pm

HalloweenJack wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:54 pm A couple of John Lennon classics in there.
Here’s a challenge for Randall, can you do a parody of “I want to hold your hand” ?
as you wish

I Want to Hold Your Hand/i want my 100 grand
The Beatles/wayne warren


Oh yeah, I'll tell you somethin'
you'd better understand
When I say that somethin'

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

Oh please, say to me
that you finally can
And please, say to me

You'll give me my 100 grand
Now,give me my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

And when I get it
I will feel happy inside
It's such a feelin' that dez

you can't hide
you can't hide
you can't hide

Yeah, ive got your trophy
I think you understand
if you want your trophy

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

And if i dont get it
Ill feel angry inside
It's such a feelin' that dez

i will hide it
i will hide it
i will hide it

Yeah, you got that chequebook
I think you understand
When you get back from turkey

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Wed Jan 06, 2021 1:04 pm

We Are the Champions/we arent the champions
Queen/fake bdo champs chorus


weve been paid peanuts, time after time
weve hidden in the bdo, lacking a spine
And bad darts, weve thrown quite a few
weve never had a 100 average thrown in our face
so we came through

And we went on, and on, and on, and on
We arent the champions, my friends
And we kept on hiding till the end
We arent the champions, we arent the champions
we are losers, 'cause we arent the champions of the world

we played on toybards, and still our averages fall
we could have had fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it, but we got fuck all
it's been a bed of roses, a pleasure cruise
we considered the challenge of the pdc before
but we knew we were gonna fucking lose

And we go on, and on, and on and on
We arent the champions, my friends
And we' kept on hiding till the end
We arent the champions, we arent the champions
we are all losers, 'cause we arent the champions of the world
We arent the champions, my friends
And we kept on hiding till the end, oh
We arent the champions, we arent the champions
we are all losers, 'cause we arent the champions
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by TheMalteseDart » Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:23 pm

Randall wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 12:31 pm
HalloweenJack wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:54 pm A couple of John Lennon classics in there.
Here’s a challenge for Randall, can you do a parody of “I want to hold your hand” ?
as you wish

I Want to Hold Your Hand/i want my 100 grand
The Beatles/wayne warren


Oh yeah, I'll tell you somethin'
you'd better understand
When I say that somethin'

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

Oh please, say to me
that you finally can
And please, say to me

You'll give me my 100 grand
Now,give me my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

And when I get it
I will feel happy inside
It's such a feelin' that dez

you can't hide
you can't hide
you can't hide

Yeah, ive got your trophy
I think you understand
if you want your trophy

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

And if i dont get it
Ill feel angry inside
It's such a feelin' that dez

i will hide it
i will hide it
i will hide it

Yeah, you got that chequebook
I think you understand
When you get back from turkey

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

Brilliant :lol: :lol:
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:32 pm

TheMalteseDart wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:23 pm
Randall wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 12:31 pm
HalloweenJack wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:54 pm A couple of John Lennon classics in there.
Here’s a challenge for Randall, can you do a parody of “I want to hold your hand” ?
as you wish

I Want to Hold Your Hand/i want my 100 grand
The Beatles/wayne warren


Oh yeah, I'll tell you somethin'
you'd better understand
When I say that somethin'

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

Oh please, say to me
that you finally can
And please, say to me

You'll give me my 100 grand
Now,give me my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

And when I get it
I will feel happy inside
It's such a feelin' that dez

you can't hide
you can't hide
you can't hide

Yeah, ive got your trophy
I think you understand
if you want your trophy

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

And if i dont get it
Ill feel angry inside
It's such a feelin' that dez

i will hide it
i will hide it
i will hide it

Yeah, you got that chequebook
I think you understand
When you get back from turkey

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

Brilliant :lol: :lol:
Not a word from jack after he requested it
The cuntn
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by TheMalteseDart » Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:47 pm

rude fucker
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Randall
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:48 pm

TheMalteseDart wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:47 pm rude fucker
"Nobody of interest"
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by DartJack Horseman » Wed Jan 06, 2021 10:21 pm

Randall wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:32 pm
TheMalteseDart wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:23 pm
Randall wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 12:31 pm
HalloweenJack wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:54 pm A couple of John Lennon classics in there.
Here’s a challenge for Randall, can you do a parody of “I want to hold your hand” ?
as you wish

I Want to Hold Your Hand/i want my 100 grand
The Beatles/wayne warren


Oh yeah, I'll tell you somethin'
you'd better understand
When I say that somethin'

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

Oh please, say to me
that you finally can
And please, say to me

You'll give me my 100 grand
Now,give me my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

And when I get it
I will feel happy inside
It's such a feelin' that dez

you can't hide
you can't hide
you can't hide

Yeah, ive got your trophy
I think you understand
if you want your trophy

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

And if i dont get it
Ill feel angry inside
It's such a feelin' that dez

i will hide it
i will hide it
i will hide it

Yeah, you got that chequebook
I think you understand
When you get back from turkey

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

Brilliant :lol: :lol:
Not a word from jack after he requested it
The cuntn
And I requested titles of the songs. Two cunts and counting. 😎
Great lyrics 😁 especially I want my hundred grand.

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Randall
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Wed Jan 06, 2021 10:22 pm

DartJack Horseman wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 10:21 pm
Randall wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:32 pm
TheMalteseDart wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:23 pm
Randall wrote: Wed Jan 06, 2021 12:31 pm
HalloweenJack wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:54 pm A couple of John Lennon classics in there.
Here’s a challenge for Randall, can you do a parody of “I want to hold your hand” ?
as you wish

I Want to Hold Your Hand/i want my 100 grand
The Beatles/wayne warren


Oh yeah, I'll tell you somethin'
you'd better understand
When I say that somethin'

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

Oh please, say to me
that you finally can
And please, say to me

You'll give me my 100 grand
Now,give me my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

And when I get it
I will feel happy inside
It's such a feelin' that dez

you can't hide
you can't hide
you can't hide

Yeah, ive got your trophy
I think you understand
if you want your trophy

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

And if i dont get it
Ill feel angry inside
It's such a feelin' that dez

i will hide it
i will hide it
i will hide it

Yeah, you got that chequebook
I think you understand
When you get back from turkey

I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand
I want my 100 grand

Brilliant :lol: :lol:
Not a word from jack after he requested it
The cuntn
And I requested titles of the songs. Two cunts and counting. 😎
Great lyrics 😁 especially I want my hundred grand.
:mrgreen:
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Randall
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Thu Jan 07, 2021 2:41 pm

Safely stored
So many posts in the dartboard I might lose it :roll:
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Thu Jan 07, 2021 3:37 pm

The Final Countdown/lakeside
Europe/des


We're leavin' bob potters
so it's farewell
And maybe we'll beg to come back
Will darts ever be the same again?
It's the final lakeside
The final lakeside

We're headin' for london
ticket sakes will fall
'Cause maybe they've seen us
throwing darts on tv before
With so many shite players to go
And shit averages to abound (to abound)
I'm sure that we all miss here so
It's the final lakeside
The final lakeside
The final lakeside (final lakeside)

(Oh)
Oh
The final lakeside, oh
It's the final lakeside
The final lakeside
The final ;akeside (final lakeside)
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Sun Jan 17, 2021 1:37 pm

wife Is a Lemon and I Want My trophy Back
Meat Loaf/des


I want my trophy back
I want my trophy back

It's all or nothing
And nothing's all I ever get
Every time I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out
It's always something
There's always something going wrong
That's the only guarantee
That's what this is all about
It's a never ending attack
Everything i say is a lie and that's a fact

wife is a lemon
And I want my trophy back
And all the forums
And all the wankers with their posts
They're the ones who make the trouble
and all ive got speaking for me is rout

There's desperation
There's desperation in the air
It leaves a blood stain on all your carpets
And no detergent gets it out
And we're always slipping through the cracks
Then the bdo is over, fade to black

wife is a lemon
And I want my trophy back
I want my trophy back
I want my trophy back

What about love
It's defective
It's always breaking in half

What about sex
It's defective
i cant even get to half mast

What about the bdo family
It's defective
All the players have fucked off

What about your friends
They're defective
All the parts are out of stock

What about the prize funds
It's defective
It's corroded and decayed

What about lakeside
It's defective
It's tattered and it's frayed

What about your gonads
They're defective
They forgot the warranty

What about warren brown
he's defective
that cunt is dead to me

What about your new era
It's defective
It's a pack of useless lies

What about your lifes work
It's defective
It's a crock and then it died

What about the bdo history
It's defective
It's dead and buried in the past

What about your trophy
It's defective
wayne shoved it up my ass

Oh, I want my trophy back
(wife is a lemon)
I want my trophy back
wife is a lemon, wife is a lemon)

It's all or nothing
And nothing's all I ever get
Every time I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out
It's a never ending attack
Everything i say is a lie and that's a fact

wife is a lemon
And I want my trophy back
And we're always slipping through the cracks
Then the bdo is over, fade to black
Life is a lemon
And I want my trophy back
I want my trophy back
Back, back, back, back
I want my trophy back
I want my trophy back
(wife is a lemon)
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Re: darts top of the pops

Post by Randall » Sun Jan 17, 2021 2:01 pm

Dead Ringer for Love/ dead minger for love
Meat Loaf/dez

Every night I grab some bdo money and I go down to the bar
I got my county subs and a beer, I got a dream, I need a car
You got me begging on my knees, c'mon ill throw the dog a bone
A man he doesn't live by rock 'n roll and brew alone
Baby, baby
Rock 'n roll and brew, rock 'n roll and brew
They don't mean a thing when I compare 'em next to you
Rock 'n roll and brew, rock 'n roll and brew
I know that you and I we got better things to do
I don't know what you are or what you do, or where you go when you're not around
I don't know anything about you baby, but you're nothing I'm dreaming of
I don't know who you are, but you're a real dead minger to love
A real dead minger to love

Ever since I can remember, you been stinking up this joint
ive been trying to look away but now you finally made a point
I don't want to know your name and I won't tell you what to do
But a girl she doesn't live by only rock 'n roll and brew
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Rock 'n roll and brew, rock 'n roll and brew
They don't mean a thing when I put my false teeth next to you
Rock 'n roll and brew, rock 'n roll and brew
I know that you and I we got better things to do
I don't know what you are or what you do, or where you go when you're not around
I don't know anything about you baby, but you're nothing I'm dreaming of
I don't know who you are, but you're a real dead minger for love
A real dead minger for love

Ooh you got the kind of legs that can barely walk
I don't want to listen to your dirty talk (Listen)
You got the kind of eyes that i dont want to see
You got a lotta nerve to come on to me
You got the kind of lips that make my heart sink
You got the kind of face. i dont even wanna think
But since I'm feeling kinda lonely and the bdo reserves are low
Why don't we give it a shot and get it ready to go
I'm know im not gong to get any real satisfaction
I want to tell my accountant I'll be missing in action
Ever since I can remember, I've been hanging 'round this joint
My accountant never noticed, now he'll finally get the point
You got me beggin' on my knees, c'mon aill throw the dog a bone
A man he doesn't live by rock 'n roll and brew alone
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Rock 'n roll and brew, rock 'n roll and brew
I know that you and I we got better things to do
Rock 'n roll and brew, rock 'n roll and brew
They don't mean a thing when I compare 'em next to you

I don't know what you are or what you do, or where you go when you're not around
I don't know anything about you baby, but you're nothing that I'm dreaming of
I don't know what you are, but you're a real dead minger for love
A real dead minger for love
Dead minger for love
Dead minger for love
Dead minger for love
dead minger for love
dead minger for love
dead minger for love
dead minger for love
dead minger for love
dead minger for love....................
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