Jokes

[D & B]

"NASA decided they'd finally send a man up in a capsule after sending only monkeys in the earlier missions.

"They fire the man and the monkey into space and "The intercom crackles, 'Monkey, fire the retros'.

"A little later, 'Monkey, check the solid fuel supply'.

"Later still, 'Monkey, check the life support systems for the man'.

"The astronaut takes umbrage and radioes NASA, 'When do I get to do something?' "

NASA replies, 'In 15 minutes - feed the monkey'."

[Noisycrowds]

what a fucking joke this hole thing is

townsend doesnt give a fuck but the racist cunts of the society of black lawyers do

[martin71109]

what a fucking joke this hole thing is

townsend doesnt give a fuck but the racist cunts of the society of black lawyers do

i thought this had gone no further?

"kick it out" campaign seem to have dismissed it pretty sharpish.

[Noisycrowds]

society of black cunt lawyers havent

[Justin Credible]

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East . Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured.

Iraq and Iran are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.

The USA is sending troops to help.

Saudi Arabia is sending oil.

Latin American countries are sending supplies.

New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops.

The Asian countries are sending labour to assist in rebuilding the Infrastructure.

Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.

GREAT BRITAIN , not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Muslims.

[skweezit]

An NSA agent walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I've got a joke for you."
The NSA agent says, "Already heard it!"

[doG]

Hollywood are seeking a cast of actors for a remake of 'The Great Escape'.
The New Zealand Rugby league Team and The All Blacks have filled the first 30 prisoner of war positions.
The England League team and the Irsh Rugby team have filled all the Guard positions.

LOL

[Randall]

is there some rugby being played?

[doG]

is there some rugby being played?

Not anymore brother, the ALL Blacks have all the trophies in the cabinet, there isn't anymore to be had. The All Blacks must surely be voted World Team of the year now.

[Jockenaria]

Some bloke knocked on the door today.

I opened it and he stood there, about 3 ft 3 inches tall.

I said "who are you?" he said

"I'm the meter man" or Rout

[Jockenaria]

A young paratrooper went for his first jump from an airplane. Afterwards, he called his father to tell him the news.

"We got in the plane, and the sergeant opened the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane."

"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.

"Not yet. The sergeant started to grab the other men, one at a time, and throw them out the door. I was the last man left."

"Did you jump then?" asked the father.

"No, I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. He said, `Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this up your ass.'"

"So, did you jump?" asked the father.

"Well, a little, at first, but then I got used to it."

[Jockenaria]

I went up to a girl in the club last night and said, "That's a nice dress. Do you know what it'd look even better on?"

"Let me guess," she sighed, "Your bedroom floor?"

"No," I replied, "A better-looking girl."

[Jockenaria]

I've had enough of Christmas. All year long I work my fucking fingers to the bone to buy all the presents that my kids ask for. And what happens Christmas morning? That fat fucker with a beard gets all the credit!! Still I suppose its my fault for marrying her.

[Jockenaria]

Someone asked:- me whats brown n stiff? I thought to myself these Nelson Mandela jokes are getting outta hand but it turns out it was Tom Daleys cock!

[Cameron]

The BDO.

[M H]

Dave will be next on Fanny's list!

[Jockenaria]

The other day I was walking past a field when I noticed 100 chickens fighting a donkey

It was a close contest but no ass can take that many cocks

[Justin Credible]

the bdo

[Jockenaria]

The BBC commentary team

[Justin Credible]

What was Triggers favourite TV Channel?

Rodney.